Thursday, October 7, 2010

Deborah Tagged me to do a "meme". Although I still exist in blog-land I really don't know anyone so I may transfer this to facebook after. But I will participate in the meme because she is Aaron's Auntie and I'm nice like that! LOL!

I was given 8 questions to answer and told to compose my own 8 questions to pass along. Which will be incredibly hard for me as I'm not terribly creative!

What is your 'life verse' or verses that have special meaning to you, (This could be scriptures that helped you through a difficult time or helped bring you to salvation, or impacted you in some other way.)
I could really go on and on about this one!

Isaiah 63:6 "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast."

2. And why? I thought that a prayer I said when I was 7 years old made me a Christian. I went on to live a wretced, sinful life all the while thinking I was just a 'backslidden' Christian. After the birth of my first child I started to think about her future and started seeking 'religion'. After hearing the preaching of the Word for months and months these verses were preached and finally it hit me. What I needed was not to 'clean up' my life. I needed salvation!!!!

3. What is your favorite story (or stories) from the Bible?
I love the book of Ruth.

4. Why is it meaningful to you?
She was an amazing woman. I can't even fathom the devotion she had to God and to her mother in law. I think an especially difficult thing she did was to give her child to Naomi. There are plenty of people who I love but I can't think of one person I would want to give my baby away to, no matter how good a person! But God told her to so she did. It reminds me that some of the sacrifices God asks me to make are really quite small. Of course my favorite part is Ruth 4:16 "And Naomi took the child, and laid it in her bosom, and became nurse unto it."
5. Do you have a favorite 'phrase' from the Bible? (such as 'it came to pass,' 'his mercy endureth forever,' 'count it all joy', 'but God' etc.)
Its a whole verse but still a 'phrase' I think 1 Thess 5:17 "Pray without ceasing"

6. Do you have some special memories or a testimony that you would like incorporated into a song? (links to special blog posts are helpful)
The most special memories to me are those of Wesley's birth and the time leading up to it where I really drew the closest to God. I don't think it could be a song!

7. If you had a theme song for your life and faith, what thoughts or statements would you want it to contain?
I'm not good at thinking things like that up.... I guess probably just how unworthy I feel to have been given salvation.

8. What would your theme song sound like? (what music style, fast, slow, upbeat, sombre...give an example of a similar sounding song if possible)
All of the above! I would imagine it to have plenty of ups and downs in pace and many genre changes throughout!

Wow, that was harder than I thought!!! And now I have to come up with my own 8 questions?? I don't think mine will be so deep... I'm changing the tone of this meme from thought-provoking and soul-searching to random and pointless!!!

1. What color are your laundry baskets?
2. How do you take your coffee?
3. Do you abide by the '5-seconds on the floor is ok' rule?
4. What is the messiest room in your house?
5. When you go out for coffee with friends, what is your favorite snack to order?
6. Who was your kindergarten teacher?
7. Where does dryer lint come from?
8. What scent is your deoderant?

I'm putting this on facebook now!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Where did the time go?

Wow, its the middle of September! Summer just flew by at the speed of light! I kept a garden and am actually harvesting food from it. The kids had tons of fun playing in the dirt and building their imaginations. We have some cute black fluffy kittens to enjoy and managed to plant 2 rows of trees that actually survived!

Danielle has so much to say and is in love with learning her letters! If only I took a little more time to teach her, but this year is not kindergarten yet so I will be taking my time. She is full of energy and is excellent at helping me around the house. She loves to do her hair, paint her nails and is very inquisitive about my make-up but at the same time has no problems going out and getting covered from head to toe in mud! She can ride her bike incredibly well and LOVES animals.

Jack is a very determined, willful little fellow who wants to be able to do everything that his big sister does and more! He is steady, calm and thoughtful in his actions and has a generally quiet disposition. He is still my snuggler but is starting to outgrow the desire to be curled up in Mama's lap. He turns 3 next month!!! He takes his tricycle 'mud-bogging' and disappears with Daddy's hammer whenever it is left available for little hands to pilfer.

Wesley is my loud one. I thought Danielle was until Wesley came along. Because he is non-verbal he communicates solely by screaming, yelling, whining and sometimes laughing. I continue to encourage quiet by responding to him in the tone of voice that would be more appropriate and am trusting that he will sooner or later catch on. He is 9 months old and can crawl very well, pull himself up to his knees and eats table food very well with only his bottom middle 2 teeth! He loves to be with people, especially his older siblings and he really seems to enjoy music.

Aaron's business is taking off, but we are going to really need to be trusting God now that winter is coming because its very hard to do construction in 8 feet of snow. Although I've always wanted 4 children Aaron is feeling satisfied with 3 so I'm trying to come to terms with the idea of quitting here.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Camp was awesome! Bro John's preaching was a wonderful blessing from God. The theme for the week was unity and the focus was on relationships. I must say that it certainly is a wonderful thing to meditate on the kind of relationships God would want me to have. I feel very blessed to have been a part of it all.

Update on my family! Everyone loved camp! Even Wesley! There were lots of young girls especially one 13 year old who spent lots of time playing with him and keeping him happy! Everyone slept remarkably well and we had a great time being active with our church family and eating lots of yummy food. Yes, Wesley too eats food still. Once the flu had run its course he renewed his interest in solid food quite quickly and very obvisously. Those who say that commencement of solids begins the weaning process are quite right. He now only nurses every 4 hrs as opposed to the every 2 hrs he previsouly nursed. If I try to nurse him before mealtime he gets quite annoyed, pulling off and pushing me away but greedily goobles up whatever is on the spoon. He likes food, and I'm slowly but surely becoming ok with that! :) He still very much enjoys nursing when he does nurse.

Keep a dear friend in prayer as her little one is battling a difficult illness. He is the same age as Wesley and its so hard to imagine such a hard thing for a sweet little baby and for his mother to be under so much stress when she still has 4 other children to care for.

I've been off my dieting for a while now and was up to 203 lbs yesterday. Thats 13lbs GAINED in about 4 weeks!!!!! Truly terrible. So I was really careful and good yesterday and was down to 201 this morning! I'm going to really start to pay attention again. Especially since I think that my milk supply issues had nothing to do with the Arbonne shakes I was drinking but the crystal light/aspertame/splenda drinks that I was drinking! I had one not too long ago and sure enough Wesley was miserable the next 2 nursing sessions! I've had the Arbonne shakes again here and there and he's had no reaction. My goal is still 175 and I'm hoping to reach it by Oct. 26th.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Resuming Exclusively Breastfeeding?

I've always thought once you introduce solids there is really no turning back. The weaning process has begun and thats it.... or is it?

Sadly, my little man seems to have come down with the flu. It started Tuesday. He was quite cranky and everytime I offered him a meal, he'd take one or two mouthfuls and then refuse to take anymore. But the end of the day it was apparant that his frequent bowel movements had become diarrhea and I happily nursed him as often as he wanted to help flush his system and boost up natural anti-bodies. Wednesday he ate no solids and had the runs all day. Thursday the runs were subsiding but he still showed no interest in solids. Today his poo seems to be back to that of an exclusively breastfed baby and he still shows no interest in eating food! Could it be that we had a 2 week stint of feeding solids and now with my milk supply re-established we can return to exclusive nursing!!? Maybe its too soon to tell, but I'm hopeful that my dreams of baby-led solids may have only been way-layed for a couple short weeks due to vain stupidity and my little man can continue to get all that wonderful breastmilk until he sprouts some chompers!!!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Eating my words

Wow, talk about irony. So, I never took pictures but I fed my baby solids
:( me of all people! I'm feeling somewhat low, but happy that my baby is happy.

Wesley had of course been doing the typical baby things, watching us eat, grabbing at my food. These are things that I don't think necessarily mean its time to offer solids. Most babies watch, grab and put anything in their mouths. So here's what changed. Suddenly, my little guy was waking up in the night again. I figured at first, must be a growth spurt. Then he seemed to get very dissatisfied at the end of nursing sessions. I thought, maybe my calorie cutting is too extreme. I weighed him and discovered that he hadn't gained anything in 3 weeks! 14lbs 12oz. So, I started eating like a starved refugee! I could tell my milk production was up and he was nursing every 1.5 hrs during the day and still up 2-3 times a night. Still he would often cry after being nursed, suck his soother and fall asleep.

I just thought, "this is crazy! he's still hungry!" So one evening I offered some mashed bananas. He gagged a little and didn't swallow much. Next, I offered a bite of my oatmeal. Same response. I thought, "nope he's not ready yet" But still the crazy nursing and night wakings went on. A friend came over. Her little guy is just 13 days older than Wesley and eating solids. She forgot a jar of baby food here, mixed fruit. I mixed it into some wheatlets the next morning. He loved it! He gobbled up the whole tiny baby bowl full! He hasn't looked back.

In the mornings I think, maybe he doesn't really need food. Then he sees us eating and gets all excited and bounces, he sees a bowl of food and starts opening his mouth in anticipation, squeaking out protests if I don't offer him any. Squeals of anger bursting when the spoon does not return to him brimming in a timely manner. I nurse him before his meals and he still eats his food!

I've commenced the weaning process and I couldn't be sadder :( But he is so happy! And he's even gained up to 15 lbs 6 oz. He still nurses every 2-3 hrs and I only offer food at breakfast and supper at this point. But he's back to sleeping well at night and is happy nursing again. Falls asleep contentedly at my breast and comes away happy and full!

My only worry and regret is the dieting. Could I have avoided the food if I had not been cutting calories to cut my waitline? Did my own quest for vanity cause me to give up on my dream of delaying solids or was he just ready for food? I'll never know for sure and I can't exactly beat myself up over it. There seems to be no turning back as this little fellow surely seems to enjoy food! I sure do miss those exclusively breastfed poo diapers.

List of things he's eaten so far. Wheatlets (cheaper cream of wheat, no additives) Jarred fruits, jarred sweet potatoes (now that I know he likes them I will buy some and make and freeze some homemade baby food), lentils (he did not care for these!), fork mashed chicken stew (a potatoe, carrot and gravy).... he loves the fruit, and stew!

Sorry for being a bad example of delayed solids but I'll keep telling myself that I still did baby-led solids!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Baby led solids.

Sometimes called baby led weaning, or delayed solids. I wanted to post about this because most things I've read talk more about "mother-nature" and the idea that "baby knows best" I believe God is in control here and that He put me in authority over my kids for a reason. We can learn a lot from the bible. Gen 21:8 "And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned." Weaning babes in the bible was usually celebrated with a feast, historically this has been show to be between the age of 3-5 years of age!!! Somehow I doubt that people back then were starting the weaning process at only a few months of age. (introduction of solid foods is considered to commence the process of weaning)

We can also learn a lot by looking at things with common sense. Our babies come into this world with the ability to suck milk and no teeth. Research is indicating that their little tummies don't have the ability to digest anything other than mother's milk until at least 6 months. This is not minimum age to start solid by. Some babies might be ready by this age and others may thrive on mothers milk until well into their second year of life. I've read many accounts of children who 'ate' nothing but mother's milk for the first 13 - 18 months of life and were perfectly healthy, happy children. Once they started eating solids they were able to chew and swallow easily and dove into eating table foods with no special preparation.

We didn't always have processed baby cereals, pureed jarred foods or blenders. So what would a baby need to truly eat their food? Teeth!!! Logic tells me that a baby won't be able to eat what I'm eating until they can chew it up. So what can you feed them if they only have a couple teeth and you're worried about chocking? Soft cooked meats, lentils, beans or egg yolks are great because they are high in protein and iron. (Just like all the infant cereals are fortified with over-processed and artificial forms of) Steamed veggies and soft fruits can be cut up into small chunks. Raw fruits and veggies can be grated. If you're interested in offering dairy you can use yogurt, grated hard cheese or cubed softer cheeses. Bread, crackers, cooked pasta and rice for grains. The basic idea is to wait until your baby has a couple chompers and can handle palming or picking up food directly from their bowls/plates/high chair trays! Messy but this way they start eating exactly what they're supposed to and if you wait until they're older and start with the softest foods they learn to chew and swallow safely!

I'm really considering this more and more. With my oldest, I started with packaged infact cereals at 2 mos old, jarred veggies/fruits at 4 mos, moved onto the jarred casseroles around 6 mos and then started the chunkier jarred foods around 8 mos. From there she started eating mashed table foods. My second born I delayed solids till 6 mos but I did start with spoon feeding blended table foods, cereals and mashed fruits.

Wesley is currently 5 months old and show no signs of teeth erupting at this point and he is thriving on breastmilk alone! He has more than doubled his birth weight, is alert and happy, can roll from back to front (then gets furious until you flip him back!) and sleeps at least 8 hours consecutively each night. I think he would be able to sit up mostly on his own if he didn't constantly kick his feet and topple over. I have no plans to start offering solids at this point. I'll keep you posted and put up pictures when we offer him his first "meal".

Of course I plan to nurse him until he starts to wean naturally onto solid foods. I do not plan to 'wean' him onto an alternate milk whether it be cow's, goat's or formula (that is what I did with Jack) and I don't use bottles at all. Until he is at least 12 months old I will be offering my milk BEFORE his meals as it contains 100% of his daily nutrition!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sometimes I just feel glum

I can't quite place any particular reason, but I just feel a little glum somedays.

Today is one of those days.

Perhaps I didn't get enough sleep or could it be just being a Mom in general is getting to me at times. The hardest thing is to not eat over it. I did ok during the day and kept my calories consumption at an adequate level, but now the evening is hear, Aaron's gone to church for door-knocking and I'm sitting at this computer trying oh so very hard to not get up and eat rice crispy squares or make myself a big bowl of buttery popcorn. I'm staying on track with my goals (193 lbs as of yesterday!) so I have incentive to behave, but oh how I want to just pig out tonight!!! Pray pray pray... and then I'll pray some more.

As soon as the kids are done their movie I think we'll be working towards a dragged out bedtime, including stories, songs and cuddles just to cheer Mommy up!

But then there is the issue of the baby... his day has been weird. He was up for a feed at 4am, then up from 8am-10am. Napped from 10am-11am, up 11am-1pm, napped 1pm-2pm, and then up 2pm-5pm... so now he's finally taking a nice long nap?! Which likely means that he won't be going to bed around 9pm as per usual... weird little baby. I feel inclined to start forceful scheduling but in the past (with Jack in particular) found that to make each of us quite miserable... fighting the urge to impose rigid sleeping/eating schedule... children seem to do much better with guidance and love. Maybe I'll wake him up, that might be the ticket! I'll wake him up now (cause its 7pm - he's napped for 2 hrs) and then hopefully he'll be tired again by 9pm... that would be nice. Wish me luck!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Finally a moment to sit and blog!

Last week Sunday ended our missions conference! Quite amazing! Lots of wonderful preaching, tons of great food and an awesome banquet with phenominal music to top it all off! Those Fort girls can really sing!

Weight loss update:
I've started 'weighing in' with a friend. We've committed to try to lose 2 lbs a week for the next 12 week so thats a total of 35lbs lost by the end of it! So far my first weigh in (Tues April 20th) I was down to 197 so I met my 2 lb goal!!! I'm feeling great and starting to fit back into some skirts that have been waiting patiently in my closet to go out!

Update on kids:
Since Danielle turned 4 she`s now sitting upstairs in church and loving it! She desperately wants to go up to the front and sing a special with me so I`m going to pick a song and start practising with her. I`m thinking of doing Sunshine in my Soul. I often sing it around the house and so she knows at least 2 verses of it reasonably well.

Jack wants to be outside ALL THE TIME! I`m so happy to live out in the country! He can even get his own rubber boots on and let himself out but always comes and tells me! Then I can easily see the kids from any of my windows so I can carry on puttering in the house.

Wesley rolled over for the first time yesterday. He`s been consistently sleeping 10 hours a night for at least 3 weeks now but last night woke up at 1am for some reason. He`s very smiley and friendly and since I quit drinking coffee about a month ago he rarely spits up or has gas issues. Coffee... my longed for lost friend... one day maybe I`ll get to drink it again!

Yard :
We actually got some work done on the yard and we`re discussing where to plant trees, the garden and where we want to have bon-fires when company come over. So much to decide and plan out, and soooo much more work to do! I`m very happy and excited to have our own land to do it with!

Ok thats it for blogging!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Cause and Effect

Life is all about cause and effect. So, what is the effect of not getting out of bed when your 4 year comes in to tell you its morning? Rice crispies all over the kitchen and living room!

What is the effect of eating more calories than are alloted to you for the day? I didn't lose any more weight :( Gratefully I didn't gain but I'm determined to be good today. I need to pray more than prayers of thanksgiving before I start eating, I need to be praying for guidance!

What is the effect of a baby sleeping for 8 hrs straight again?! Well obvisouly not a Mommy who can just out of bed the moment her 4 year tells her that 'its light outside Mommy' But I'm at least feeling fairly chipper now that I'm finally up and having my shake! I need a blender so I can make smooties...

What is the effect of a husband working on Saturday? A wife who has just decided to go to Brandon and buy a blender!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Update on Life

Well before I got pregnant with Wesley I had just lost 40lbs... I weighed 185! After he was born (Dec 13, 2009) I weighed in at 210lbs, still 15lbs less than my heaviest. I've just started counting calories again and I've already lost 6lbs! Very exciting! I find I always do best when I consume the majority of my calories during the day and then eat a light supper or just have a shake (I use the Arbonne figure 8 go easy shakes whenever I can't find anything healthy to eat) Oh and just for the record, yes I am breastfeeding and yes you can diet while breastfeeding. You simply allow yourself an additional 500 calories per day.

We moved into our new bedroom last weekend and moved the kids into their respective bedrooms. The big kids LOVE their big room! We even had company yesterday evening and it effectively contained 5 children! (for the most part, there was some occasional spill over into the living areas) Wesley is sleeping great in his own room! He slept for 8 hrs two nights in a row, how lucky for me. Lets just see if this trend continues.

Well he's awake and wanting food!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Obsessed with Breastfeeding.

In my devotions today I was reading in Romans. These verses stuck out to me.

Romans 2:25 "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature."

Ok so I really think of myself now as a bit of a lactivist... someone who advocates for breastfeeding to be normalized and that all babies should be given breastmilk. This is probably because I only nursed my daughter for 6 months and not exclusively. She was supplemented with formula (because I didn't understand growth spurts), given baby cereal from 8 weeks on (to help her sleep through the night) and she grew to prefer the bottle by about 5 months old so by 6 months... I quit. I wanted to do things differently for first born son, so I researched like crazy, found support from those successful at breastfeeding, attended La Leche League meetings and when he came along... I nursed him exclisively till he was 6 mos old and continued to nurse half way through my pregnancy with my second born son! I also believe that God made our bodies to feed our children and I believe that our culture has prevented us from carrying on with our God-given roles as mothers by providing us with 'easier' and 'more conveniant' feeding alternatives. We've also lost the ability to support mothers who do choose to breastfeed with horrible advice that has been passed down through the generations and I think its time we stopped and took a look at how God made our bodies, how God made our babies bodies, how things were done biblically and stop trusting the creature (man... or in this case manufactured formulas!)

Our bodies produce milk when a baby is born. In order to maintain a good milk supply babies must be fed on demand, not be given anything else to eat or drink, and pacifiers should be used minimally (or not used at all). Simple. Somehow the world has complicated this with use of bottles (either for water, juice or formula), teaching mothers to ignore their instincts and only feed babies according to a schedule (using pacifiers to help 'tide them over'), and introducing baby cereals and purees.

Babies bodies are born with teeny tiny stomachs and require frequent feedings. They thrive optimally on human breast milk and require only this milk in order to meet all their needs for thirst, hunger and they also recieve a great deal of comfort from it. (there are plenty of verses throughout the bible that talk of recieving comfort at the breast, or as a suckling babe... etc etc.) The other side of the coin is the increased risk of aquiring a long list of diseases in adulthood from being formula fed or started on solids too early in infancy... obesity, diabetes, crohn's, colitis and MS are just a few! Why no cereals/purees? Baby's are born with no teeth and God didn't invite blenders! I believe in starting solids around the time the first teeth appear, that way you can start with soft finger foods or fork-mashed table foods! This age is different for all babies ranging from 4-14 mos, all babies are different. How long to breastfeed is another burning question. Think about this... babies start losing their baby teeth aka 'milk teeth' around age 5 and our immune systems aren't fully developed until around that age also. (I made it till age 2, so far)

Abraham made a great feast the day Isaac was weaned and Samuel was brought to the priest when he was weaned. I can't imagine that these children would have been younger than 5-7 years old! Yet its rare to find someone still nursing a child at 6 months in our culture! Whats shocking to me is that these babes are given milk substitutes... if these babies are still needing milk, why not their mother's?

So lets stop listening to the lies! You do have enough milk, its plenty rich enough and its completely normal for your baby to want to nurse every hour sometimes! No they don't necessarily sleep through the night and no, you won't spoil them. They're still completely trainable after having been nurtured and loved.. maybe more so!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Unassisted Birth Story

Birth Story
Wesley Gerald Blair
Sunday December 13th, 2009
8lbs 2oz

A little background. My oldest child Danielle was born in hospital assisted by a wonderful midwife. It was an easy uncomplicated delivery and I was excited to have another baby, one was just not enough. Since breastfeeding didn't go the greatest (long story) we were already trying to conceive when Danielle was just 7 months old. It didn't take long and we were expecting baby #2! It wasn't a difficult pregnancy per se but it was a tough time in our lives and I really didn't prepare well for the birth. I think I just figured since my first delivery was easy that this one would be even easier. Needless to say, it wasn't. It didn't follow the same pattern as Danielle and so I was left feeling frustrated and confused. I was trying to birth at home and my midwives kept coming and going (I wasn't really in established labor and so they were leaving me to labor until I was, but I felt very helpless and unprepared... my husband who tries his best, was really no help) When I was about 7cm dilated I was ready to give up, my midwife had been concerned about the baby's position since I was 3cm and wanted to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound to confirm that the baby was head down. While I was there I got seated on a birthing ball and took the nitrous gas. It was what I needed to relax and finally my body did what it was supposed to do without me fighting against it. The Dr came in and confirmed I was safe to deliver and then 20 mins later my first son Jack was born!!! It was a disappointing experience, I think I suffered a bit of PPD without really admitting it. Gratefully, breastfeeding came along (after a rocky start) and I think I was able to build a better attachment to Jack through breastfeeding. When Jack was just 5 months old, Danielle had just turned 2, the Lord saved me!!!! It was an amazing new birth! God has done nothing but bless my life since. Jack's first birthday got me thinking about having a baby again. But I was still nursing and still no signs of fertility. 14 months post partum we started trying to conceive. Around this time a friend asked me to attend her homebirth as her doula. It was a wonderful experience but got me questioning whether or not I would actually want the midwives there. What I had experienced and seen was that once you have this wonderful experience of childbirth, you've got your baby in your arms but soon they rush in there and start mucking about, trying to get your placenta to deliver... they have a time limit on that thing you know. It was unnerving to see my friend trying to bond with her baby while her midwife was tugging at the cord, giving her a shot, pressing on her abdomon. Looked terrible. Not long after this, I was pregnant with baby #3! I was going to do things differently this time. I prayed and read my bible, I read tons of birth stories. I read lots a few good books about childbirth. I was seeing my midwives for prenatal care and planning another homebirth but in the back of my mind I was considering not calling them when the time came. Then God blessed us with 80 acres of land and a great deal on a newer, mobile home! This meant that my midwives could not attend my homebirth (they only attend homebirths within city limits). Either I could have my baby in hospital or at a private home in town to be attended by the midwives, or I would have him at home. The Lord led me to go ahead and share my thoughts with my midwife. After being discharged from their care and then taken back in, brought along a real emotional roller coaster God gave me perfect peace that I should have our baby at home. My husband was very supportive. I prepared myself for birth so that I would need very little from him, he was willing to do what he could but I knew that he'd rather sit it out... his words were something to the effect of "whoever decided men should be there when women give birth oughta be drug out into the street and shot.... it should be like the olden days, when you go into labor I should call the 'women-folk' and then go wait in the barn." Despite how negative this all sounds he would say it very calmly and with a little half smile and I knew that although he meant what he said, he would still do anything I asked him to. As the due date approached I felt so calm about the birth... as the due date passed I was still feeling ok about it.

Friday was the first day that I felt quite unhappy about being overdue. I was just 4 days past my estimated due date. So Saturday I asked Aaron if we could get out of the house and maybe do some walking if for nothing else but to cure the cabin-fever myself and the kids were feeling after being stuck in the house for the past week due to the recent cold snap. We walked around a couple stores, trudged around in the crowds at the mall and then went to a gun show. I had forgotten our stroller AND my sling so I was carrying our 2 year old for a good chunk of the gun show. Early in the day I noticed some mild crampy like contractions. By evening, I realized that these contractions were still going on and coming every 10-15 mins, I was chatting with my mom on the phone but didn't let on that I thought the baby might be coming. I went to bed around 11pm waking a few times throughout the night (as usual) and they were still coming. At 5am, I took a bath and had some toast and wondered whether this would continue on, or stop and restart another day. At 7:30am I used the bathroom and passed a bit of my mucous plug! The contractions were starting to come every 5-10 mins at this point and felt a little stronger, so I figured it was the real thing! I made breakfast for my kids and laid out their church clothes. Aaron ate breakfast with them, dressed them and took them over to his mom’s around 8:30am. Throughout the rest of the morning my contractions were coming steadily every 5 mins and increasing in intensity and duration. I coped by breathing deeply, concentrating on making low moaning sounds and tried lots of different positions. I walked, squatted, sat on my birthing ball, took a bath (about 5 times) and got on my elbows and knees on my bed. Aaron would check with me periodically and rub my back but mostly he did the right thing and stayed out of my way. We really didn’t talk, we didn’t need to he seemed to know that I didn’t need him yet. By around noon I was feeling very tired and my prayers turned from ‘thank you God for helping me through this, please give me strength and energy” to more of a plea “please don’t let this carry on much longer, I don’t think I can do it, please, PLEASE give me renewed strength and energy! I can’t last past 3, I know I can’t!” At 2:30pm I was squatting by the end of my bed and prayed aloud “I quit Lord, I can’t, I quit, I’M DONE!” I listened to the words I was saying and thought “transition? Am I in transition?!” I thought through the next contraction ‘what is my body trying to tell me to do? Push? is it really time to push?” I felt to see if there was a head, I felt a smooth ball. I felt like I needed to use the toilet so I went back to the bathroom. Next contraction I felt the ball move towards my hand a little! Next contraction my water broke! I started REALLY pushing. Aaron came in and asked if my water broke, I nodded. He rubbed my back and asked if I could feel the head, he looked for himself and said “there it is. Wow, he’s got more hair than I do!” (we always thought it would be a boy) The hairy little ball was moving towards my hand more and more. I pushed and felt for my perineum to see if it was stretching nicely. I had my hands on either side of my baby’s head as I stood up, his face slid out, then I waited for a good contraction and pushed the shoulders out, with one last little push the rest of his body slid out into mine and Aaron’s waiting hands! He let out a little squawk as we lifted him up to my chest. I rubbed him down a bit with a receiving blanket and he let out a lusty cry. I kept chanting little welcoming remarks to my new little child! I mucked back to my bedroom, Aaron ran ahead and threw a few chux pads on the bed and I plopped down with my new little baby and confirmed that he was a boy. He didn’t want to open his mouth to nurse so he nuzzled at my breast while I started excitedly calling people to share the news! I had to stop the phone calls to deliver the placenta about 10 mins after the birth. I tied and cut the cord about 5 mins after that. I wrapped Wesley into some clean blankets and towels and Aaron held him by the wood stove while I cleaned up a bit. After that he latched on and nursed beautifully! He’s perfect!!!! Both Aaron and I agree that this was the BEST birth experience we’ve had and that all babies should be born this way! God has blessed us so much throughout this pregnancy and birth!

Little update, Wesley is now 2 1/2 months old and is doing great! He's getting so chubby and nursing wonderfully! He loves to smile and laugh, he's already tickelish and is the first of my kids to somewhat enjoy his soother. The kids seem to like him and Danielle has really become quite the little mommy to her all her dolls. She doesn't like it when Wesley cries.

Hope you enjoyed!


Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm not a blogger :(

Silly me. I thought I could blog and here it is 2 years later and all I can say is. I'm not a blogger. Since I am still on here I will post an update. We moved out of the trailer that was needing a lot of work and bought 80 acres and moved a newer nicer trailer onto it! Since we live out of town I have slow speed internet and so I don't know how much blogging I'll get done, but I'll give it a go again!

I'm now 29 years old, my husband Aaron and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. My daughter is turning 4 yrs old next month. My son Jack just turned 2 this past Oct and my son (yes a lot happened in 2 yrs!) Wesley is 2 months old!

God has been so good to our family! We've been blessed more than I could ever imagine or deserve!

My faith was strengthened immensely this fall as we'd been struggling with a hard decision since the beginning of my pregnancy.... the birthplace for our newest addition. I felt no peace about giving birth in hospital again and with a lot of prayer and tears I had my Lord speak so clearly to me through His word that there was no denying the answer. We had Wesley at home... by ourselves. It was the best birth yet! I still look at him and marvel that he slipped into this world into mine and Aaron's waiting hands!!! I was the first person to touch our sweet baby and I would have no problem doing it that way again!

I have done a lot of growing spiritually but must admit that I've hit a bit of a wall. I'm really having a hard time consistently praying and reading my bible. I love God and want so much to develop a closer relationship with my Savior but often find that the day has whizzed past and I've only taken snips of time to thank God for our food... really I have so much more to be thankful for!

Thanks to those who read this and I hope that if anyone out there is interested in some of my interests, I'd love to share! I believe in 'extended' breastfeeding (past 12 months), I think unassisted childbirth is a wonderful option and otherwise homebirth in general is a fantastic option!