Unassisted Birth Story

Birth Story
Wesley Gerald Blair
Sunday December 13th, 2009
2:50pm
8lbs 2oz

A little background. My oldest child Danielle was born in hospital assisted by a wonderful midwife. It was an easy uncomplicated delivery and I was excited to have another baby, one was just not enough. Since breastfeeding didn't go the greatest (long story) we were already trying to conceive when Danielle was just 7 months old. It didn't take long and we were expecting baby #2! It wasn't a difficult pregnancy per se but it was a tough time in our lives and I really didn't prepare well for the birth. I think I just figured since my first delivery was easy that this one would be even easier. Needless to say, it wasn't. It didn't follow the same pattern as Danielle and so I was left feeling frustrated and confused. I was trying to birth at home and my midwives kept coming and going (I wasn't really in established labor and so they were leaving me to labor until I was, but I felt very helpless and unprepared... my husband who tries his best, was really no help) When I was about 7cm dilated I was ready to give up, my midwife had been concerned about the baby's position since I was 3cm and wanted to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound to confirm that the baby was head down. While I was there I got seated on a birthing ball and took the nitrous gas. It was what I needed to relax and finally my body did what it was supposed to do without me fighting against it. The Dr came in and confirmed I was safe to deliver and then 20 mins later my first son Jack was born!!! It was a disappointing experience, I think I suffered a bit of PPD without really admitting it. Gratefully, breastfeeding came along (after a rocky start) and I think I was able to build a better attachment to Jack through breastfeeding. When Jack was just 5 months old, Danielle had just turned 2, the Lord saved me!!!! It was an amazing new birth! God has done nothing but bless my life since. Jack's first birthday got me thinking about having a baby again. But I was still nursing and still no signs of fertility. 14 months post partum we started trying to conceive. Around this time a friend asked me to attend her homebirth as her doula. It was a wonderful experience but got me questioning whether or not I would actually want the midwives there. What I had experienced and seen was that once you have this wonderful experience of childbirth, you've got your baby in your arms but soon they rush in there and start mucking about, trying to get your placenta to deliver... they have a time limit on that thing you know. It was unnerving to see my friend trying to bond with her baby while her midwife was tugging at the cord, giving her a shot, pressing on her abdomon. Looked terrible. Not long after this, I was pregnant with baby #3! I was going to do things differently this time. I prayed and read my bible, I read tons of birth stories. I read lots a few good books about childbirth. I was seeing my midwives for prenatal care and planning another homebirth but in the back of my mind I was considering not calling them when the time came. Then God blessed us with 80 acres of land and a great deal on a newer, mobile home! This meant that my midwives could not attend my homebirth (they only attend homebirths within city limits). Either I could have my baby in hospital or at a private home in town to be attended by the midwives, or I would have him at home. The Lord led me to go ahead and share my thoughts with my midwife. After being discharged from their care and then taken back in, brought along a real emotional roller coaster God gave me perfect peace that I should have our baby at home. My husband was very supportive. I prepared myself for birth so that I would need very little from him, he was willing to do what he could but I knew that he'd rather sit it out... his words were something to the effect of "whoever decided men should be there when women give birth oughta be drug out into the street and shot.... it should be like the olden days, when you go into labor I should call the 'women-folk' and then go wait in the barn." Despite how negative this all sounds he would say it very calmly and with a little half smile and I knew that although he meant what he said, he would still do anything I asked him to. As the due date approached I felt so calm about the birth... as the due date passed I was still feeling ok about it.

Friday was the first day that I felt quite unhappy about being overdue. I was just 4 days past my estimated due date. So Saturday I asked Aaron if we could get out of the house and maybe do some walking if for nothing else but to cure the cabin-fever myself and the kids were feeling after being stuck in the house for the past week due to the recent cold snap. We walked around a couple stores, trudged around in the crowds at the mall and then went to a gun show. I had forgotten our stroller AND my sling so I was carrying our 2 year old for a good chunk of the gun show. Early in the day I noticed some mild crampy like contractions. By evening, I realized that these contractions were still going on and coming every 10-15 mins, I was chatting with my mom on the phone but didn't let on that I thought the baby might be coming. I went to bed around 11pm waking a few times throughout the night (as usual) and they were still coming. At 5am, I took a bath and had some toast and wondered whether this would continue on, or stop and restart another day. At 7:30am I used the bathroom and passed a bit of my mucous plug! The contractions were starting to come every 5-10 mins at this point and felt a little stronger, so I figured it was the real thing! I made breakfast for my kids and laid out their church clothes. Aaron ate breakfast with them, dressed them and took them over to his mom’s around 8:30am. Throughout the rest of the morning my contractions were coming steadily every 5 mins and increasing in intensity and duration. I coped by breathing deeply, concentrating on making low moaning sounds and tried lots of different positions. I walked, squatted, sat on my birthing ball, took a bath (about 5 times) and got on my elbows and knees on my bed. Aaron would check with me periodically and rub my back but mostly he did the right thing and stayed out of my way. We really didn’t talk, we didn’t need to he seemed to know that I didn’t need him yet. By around noon I was feeling very tired and my prayers turned from ‘thank you God for helping me through this, please give me strength and energy” to more of a plea “please don’t let this carry on much longer, I don’t think I can do it, please, PLEASE give me renewed strength and energy! I can’t last past 3, I know I can’t!” At 2:30pm I was squatting by the end of my bed and prayed aloud “I quit Lord, I can’t, I quit, I’M DONE!” I listened to the words I was saying and thought “transition? Am I in transition?!” I thought through the next contraction ‘what is my body trying to tell me to do? Push? is it really time to push?” I felt to see if there was a head, I felt a smooth ball. I felt like I needed to use the toilet so I went back to the bathroom. Next contraction I felt the ball move towards my hand a little! Next contraction my water broke! I started REALLY pushing. Aaron came in and asked if my water broke, I nodded. He rubbed my back and asked if I could feel the head, he looked for himself and said “there it is. Wow, he’s got more hair than I do!” (we always thought it would be a boy) The hairy little ball was moving towards my hand more and more. I pushed and felt for my perineum to see if it was stretching nicely. I had my hands on either side of my baby’s head as I stood up, his face slid out, then I waited for a good contraction and pushed the shoulders out, with one last little push the rest of his body slid out into mine and Aaron’s waiting hands! He let out a little squawk as we lifted him up to my chest. I rubbed him down a bit with a receiving blanket and he let out a lusty cry. I kept chanting little welcoming remarks to my new little child! I mucked back to my bedroom, Aaron ran ahead and threw a few chux pads on the bed and I plopped down with my new little baby and confirmed that he was a boy. He didn’t want to open his mouth to nurse so he nuzzled at my breast while I started excitedly calling people to share the news! I had to stop the phone calls to deliver the placenta about 10 mins after the birth. I tied and cut the cord about 5 mins after that. I wrapped Wesley into some clean blankets and towels and Aaron held him by the wood stove while I cleaned up a bit. After that he latched on and nursed beautifully! He’s perfect!!!! Both Aaron and I agree that this was the BEST birth experience we’ve had and that all babies should be born this way! God has blessed us so much throughout this pregnancy and birth!

Little update, Wesley is now 2 1/2 months old and is doing great! He's getting so chubby and nursing wonderfully! He loves to smile and laugh, he's already tickelish and is the first of my kids to somewhat enjoy his soother. The kids seem to like him and Danielle has really become quite the little mommy to her all her dolls. She doesn't like it when Wesley cries.

Hope you enjoyed!

Nadine

I'm not a blogger :(

Silly me. I thought I could blog and here it is 2 years later and all I can say is. I'm not a blogger. Since I am still on here I will post an update. We moved out of the trailer that was needing a lot of work and bought 80 acres and moved a newer nicer trailer onto it! Since we live out of town I have slow speed internet and so I don't know how much blogging I'll get done, but I'll give it a go again!

I'm now 29 years old, my husband Aaron and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. My daughter is turning 4 yrs old next month. My son Jack just turned 2 this past Oct and my son (yes a lot happened in 2 yrs!) Wesley is 2 months old!

God has been so good to our family! We've been blessed more than I could ever imagine or deserve!

My faith was strengthened immensely this fall as we'd been struggling with a hard decision since the beginning of my pregnancy.... the birthplace for our newest addition. I felt no peace about giving birth in hospital again and with a lot of prayer and tears I had my Lord speak so clearly to me through His word that there was no denying the answer. We had Wesley at home... by ourselves. It was the best birth yet! I still look at him and marvel that he slipped into this world into mine and Aaron's waiting hands!!! I was the first person to touch our sweet baby and I would have no problem doing it that way again!

I have done a lot of growing spiritually but must admit that I've hit a bit of a wall. I'm really having a hard time consistently praying and reading my bible. I love God and want so much to develop a closer relationship with my Savior but often find that the day has whizzed past and I've only taken snips of time to thank God for our food... really I have so much more to be thankful for!

Thanks to those who read this and I hope that if anyone out there is interested in some of my interests, I'd love to share! I believe in 'extended' breastfeeding (past 12 months), I think unassisted childbirth is a wonderful option and otherwise homebirth in general is a fantastic option!

Nadine

I'm renovating!

I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore, anyways... because I never write on it! But regardless I will update. My husband works a lot. Because of that fact the trailer that we've been living in for a year now has had no more work done to it besides the work that was done a year ago. I was quite tired at looking at the things that needed to get done, when I would ask what the plan was regarding these things I was told it was too much work to start right now. I took matters into my own hands and I ripped up this room. This room was Jack's room when we first moved in. But it had some major problems. The kids were moved into the same room and this room collected stuff. I emptied the room of all its stuff and proceeded to rip off all its wood panelling and the horrible smelly carpet (with the help of my best friend Colleen - truly couldn't have done it without her!) Now I've been stapling up new vapour barrier. The old stuff was too thin and had some holes, now even more holes because of my over-kill with the hammer while removing wood panelling! Aaron is finally on board with renovating this room and is happy that I started it and told me that if I start things he'll finish them! The room will be getting carpet, a light fixture, a heater, new drywall, paint and a door! Then I think I'll give the room to Danielle. Very exciting!

My next project will be packing up and moving to Colleen's basement so that I can tear up my living room and kitchen. That'll be quite the thing I'm sure! Very excited about it! In the spring I may just start ripping the ucky aluminum siding off my trailer. I don't mind tearing things apart if it means that things get done around here - isn't the demolition of things the fun part anyways?

Once a month update

Cute pictures of my kids are always a nice addition to any blog entry! Its very easy to be patient with my kids when they look like this!

I'm obviously not a blogger. But for those few who like to read about whats going on in my world here's the dish.

My best friend AND her boyfriend recently got saved! So wonderful how God works in people's lives!

Jack is crawling very well and is starting to pull himself to standing and even gets around a little bit.

Danielle is starting to assert her independence more and more. "No" is becoming a lot more common around here (out of her mouth AND mine)

Aaron is busy working pretty much 2 jobs as he's hoping to possibly start his own business within the next year.

I've been trying to collect the fabric and notions to make a few baby slings to sell off and hopefully I'll actually find the time to do it as well!

I'm really finding that God is able to help with the day to day little things more than I could have ever thought. I get frustrated and I just stop and pray. I get a few moments and I stop to read my bible. Its so wonderful to have someone to call on who's always there and always knows the best thing to do! Its when I don't ask His advice that I find myself having rotton days. I'm not good at memorizing verses but I've decided I'm going to try a little harder to. This is my verse. Eccl 7:9 "Be not hasty in they spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools" I know some people may not think this verse applies to me but I do have a short fuse with my kids sometimes. I also really like this verse, but its REALLY long. Heb 12:1 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." My "race" as a wife/mother is set before me and I sure do feel as though I'm running somedays! Whether or not I'm running it with patience is a whole other thing!

Jennifer ... how dare you make me start blogging again! LOL... just kidding. I don't know why I haven't in so long!

B. best friend? Male - Aaron of course. We've known each other almost 5 yrs, been married 3yrs (as of Aug 27th) and we've shared so much joy and sorrow. Female - Colleen, who would've thought we'd still be friends at all! We've known each other since we were born pratically but never really became close until she offered up a roommate position - wow have we had fun!

C. cake or pie? Pie! This is a very tough question because both are especially tempting. I choose cake today, birthday cake with ridiculously sweet butter cream icing and lots of pretty flowers on it!

D. day of choice? Sunday! Church and then a really fun day with Aaron home and usually getting out to visit and have fun with friends/family!

E. essential item? I think its swiftly becoming "Nave's Topical Bible" (but the bible by itself is right up there... good old instruction book for living!) Look up any topic (today its patience) and read every verse in the bible that makes reference to that topic! My pastor suggests that if you are having a struggle in your life to memorize 10 verses to help with it and you will get victory over that struggle. This bible is soooooo helpful for this!

F. favorite color? as a child it was always sunny yellow, until in grade 2 every other girl said pink so I felt left out and said pink too. But I wear a lot of blues.

G. gummy bears or worms? they both taste the same.... so... bears are much more appealing.

H. hometown? A Prairie town in Manitoba.

I. favorite indulgence? Cheesecake, something light like fruit, lemon or lime.

J. January or July? Do i have to pick one? Both are a little unappealing... January's too cold and July is far too hot. January is slow and relaxing, July is hectic and fun-filled. I pick neither!

K. kids? Two. My daughter Danielle, and my son Jack. They are 19 months apart and are oodles of fun! We are hoping to have 2 more yet.

L. life isn't complete without? God.

M. marriage date? August 27, 2005

N. number of brothers & sisters? One older brother Vern and his wife Chelsea. Aaron is the oldest of 6 siblings, Corinna, Brittany (married to Alex), Joseph, Jonathon, Andrew. I've married into a nice large family with lots of siblings and I sure do love it coming from just Vern and I!

O. oranges or apples? Apples

P. phobias? I can't do any fair rides anymore. Aaron and I were in a terrible roll-over just over 4 years ago and since then I can't go on fair rides or go mud-bogging.

Q. quotes? "Pray without ceasing" AND "when you know better, you do better"

R. reasons to smile? my kids are napping right now! AND I know I'm going to heaven when I die!

S. season of choice? Definately fall! Perfect weather, gorgeous trees, bringing in the garden harvest (although I don't have a garden this year I get to help reap the benefits of my MIL's)

T. tag seven peeps! Seven? I haven't been blogging in so long I don't think I know seven other bloggers.

U. unknown fact about me? I echo Jennifer's sentiments, it would now be known if I typed it here... but really I am an open book, I don't think there is anything I don't share with almost everyone!

V. vegetable? roasted asparagus

W. worst habits? I am an over-eater.

X. x-ray or ultrasound? I choose ultrasound! but only if I'm pregnant again! LOL, no I'm not yet.

Y. your favorite food? This is really hard. I haven't met a food yet that I don't like. Today I pick king crab, with rice pilaf, piles of steamed veggies and delicious hot garlic butter.

Z. zodiac sign? Virgo.

A little conviction?

Its been a while since I've posted anything spiritual... I guess its time!

Shortly after I got saved I really felt God's hand in my life and it was really exciting and wonderful. As these couple short months have passed I've felt myself getting less and less enthused about the things of God and easily making excuses to not read my bible or spend time in prayer. Thursday evening was my very first communion (well at this church, I've taken communion at other churches) and I found myself forced to examine myself
1 Cor 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
1 Cor 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
I realized that I'm just not spending enough time with God... He's supposed to be my closest friend and I haven't "called" Him in days. The times I have talked to Him all I've done is prayed and prayed and told God everything on my mind but haven't listened for his reply (aka have not been reading my bible regularly)

My biggest excuse is time. I fill up my day with so many things but haven't made room in my schedule for God. My conclusion, I've decided that I need to wake up earlier. I usually wait for my kids to wake up before getting up. This is silly for a number of reasons... the main reason being that I need time to do devotions. I'm nervous about typing this because it will make me accountable. I've concluded that I need to start getting up at least 2 hours before Jack. That means 5am. I know it sounds crazy but both my kids sleep through the night so I really have no excuse to be so tired. I just need to put myself to bed earlier. So far its Saturday, 2 whole mornings have passed where I've had the opportunity to get up earlier and I haven't. I think I need to be accountable. I need to get up. (I really need to start by going to bed earlier to make this work)

Ok well there is my babble.