Little By Little

Week 2, Day 4

2012-01-26T08:00:00.005-06:00

cripture.

Ephesians 1: 20-21 "Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,
Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come"

bservation.

I think it's important to note the verse before this again. Here we're talking about the great power that God gave to Christ. Raised from the dead, set at God's right hand, far above all other powers. This power that is referred to is available to us! Its just a more indepth description of that power.

pplication.

I find myself saying things like "I just don't have the will-power" or that "I'm just not patient, I try..." or simply "I can't!" at various situations throughout my day. It seems to me I just need to draw from that source of power thats available to me.

rayer.

Lord, remind me today when I feel powerless that I am powerFUL through You! I'm not needing power to over throw rulers, I just need to keep my over-eating in check, not yell at my kids, do a little schoolwork with them, do my housework and try to squeeze in a fun activity with them today. Please help me remember these verses today when I feel drained. Thank you Lord for making this power available to your children!

Being pro-active!

2012-01-24T10:14:00.007-06:00

Well it appears that I may not have time to blog tomorrow so in the spirit of planning ahead I am going to do another 2 for 1 day.

Scripture

17That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him

18The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,

19And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,

Observation

So, I've hit my first moment of confusion. I'm not sure if all who read this know that I belong to a church that believes that the King James Version of the bible is the only bible we should use. I have been questioning that belief recently and so I've been quoting the KJV here on my blog but I've been referring to both the KJV and the ESV while studying Ephesians with this group. In the KJV the word "spirit" is not capatilized, which I've been taught to mean it is not referring to the Holy Spirit which would show that in the verse it means that God is giving unto me a spirit...

(Spirit : Temper; disposition of mind, habitual or temporary; as a man of a generous spirit, or of a revengeful spirit; the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Let us go to the house of God in the spirit of prayer)

...of wisdom and revelation in the knowlege of him. But the ESV capitolizes the word Sprit, which would make reference to the Holy Spirit. That the Holy Spirit has been given to me and IS wise and reveals the knowledge of God. I suppose either way God is showing me giving me wisdom and knowledge of Himself. Funny thing is this would be an incredibly big deal to some people and now that I'm reading through and seeing differences for myself, it seems that the main message conveyed remains the same! God is giving me wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him whether if thats by giving me a disposition of mind or by the Holy Spirit!

And what does He want me to know?

He wants me to know what benefit there is to my calling; which I believe is to raise my children and be a good helper for my husband!

Also, the riches of His glory I will inherit one day!

The immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe!

Wow, those are wonderful things to know!

Application

I feel that I can be sure of my calling, but its good to remember that there is a benefit to following God's calling for my life. I believe that God will bless me with the riches of His glory! Also, I can call on His power! I know that the power of God is available to me and when I find it to continue in my calling I can draw on that power for strength and assurance.

Prayer

Thank you Lord for my husband and children and my place as a wife and mother. Thank you that not only will I one day recieve an inheritance but that I can also enjoy the blessing of my hard work in having a beautiful home, happy and healthy children, and of course a contended, loving husband who works hard for us because he cares for us! Grant me strength to carry on even when I have challenges in my day! Remind me of these verses.

Two for One!

2012-01-23T10:55:00.007-06:00

Well I missed Friday... so I'm doing Friday and Monday together!

Ephesians 1:13-16

13In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,
14Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
15Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,
16Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers;

Trusting the word of God is what saves me. Believing alone seals me with the Holy Spirit! There's nothing complex about this process. Trust in God that He sent Jesus to pay the debt for my sins... both those I've done and those I will do!

Is my faith so evident that others would hear of it? Would others know of the love I have for all the saints? When the bible refers to saints...isn't it referring to all those who are saved? Not just a particular church or denomination but all Christians, right? Food for thought.

I'm so thankful that other people take the time to pray for me, I don't deserve such kindness.

I need to show love to ALL Christians. If others take the time to pray for me, I most certainly should take the time to pray for others.

Thank you Lord for saving me. I trust you Lord. Help me trust you more, increase my faith. I won't name specifically those who I'll pray for but I will pray for those I've been having disagreements with lately. Lord, let your will be done in my life and those who I have trouble with lately. I love my fellow believers and want to show them God's love. Help me not to immitate their behaviour and attitudes but instead to show a loving attitude! I pray that I will cease not to give thanks!

Thank you Lord that everything on my shopping list was on sale yesterday.

Thank you that because we are a little strapped for cash I'm being forced to think harder about what I eat and not have as much junk food in the house.

Thank you for running water.

Thank you that no water on Thursday gave me a fun outing!

Thank you that Lacey is such a content baby!

Thank you that my husband doesn't make abrupt decisions for our lives and is really trying to seek the RIGHT thing to do for us!

Ack! What a day!

2012-01-19T12:44:00.002-06:00

Before I blog my devotional entry, let me share a few tidbits from my personal life! So last night I did not sleep well. Wesley woke up around 1 ish for no apparant reason then around 3 our water pump was noisily pumping away without stopping, I soon realized that something was not right and had to get up and shut off the breaker for it. Next, Lacey woke up about 6 (yes she is an amazing 3.5 month old baby who actually sleeps like 10 hrs a night most nights for the past 2 weeks now!!!) Aaron was up also trying to fix what turned out to be a burst pipe (good thing turning the pump off stopped the flow of water) but to no avail :( After feeding Lacey I went back to bed until around 8, tried the pump again (as per hubby's instructions) and still no water. I then packed up my four kids and all our church clothes and headed over to my mother-in-law's house. Its super nice and quiet here because my MIL is up north right now so just my BIL is home. I'm hanging out upstairs sipping on coffee with vanilla syrup and cool whip topping in the peace and quiet while the kids are watching a movie in the basement. I forgot a few key items, Wesley's beloved bottle, Lacey's "go to sleep" music box and my deoderant... but I think I should get by.

Ok, so Day 3 of my Journey Through Ephesians bible study.

Scripture
11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.

Observation

...And here is where I got interrupted to bath all four kids, nurse the baby to sleep, take a shower and put on another movie... and now I'm back to work!

...Or not, ok I got interrupted right after I typed that. But I'm back at it now! Seriously, finding it really hard to focus today!

Wow, God predestined us to obtain an inheritance! I guess there are some weird religions out there that take this to mean that only a select group of people are meant to have God's salvation but the way I see this is that God wants everyone to accept Jesus as their Savior. If I inherit something from a family member I have to take it.

Application
If we are to be to the praise of His glory I imagine we should stop back-biting and trying to devour one another. That would probably help. I think the key thing is to love others the way that God loved us. Sometimes, it seems like fellow Christians are too busy playing "holier than thou" and forget that we are supposed to be showing for Christ's love for the glory of God.

Prayer
Lord, let me be to the praise of your glory. Show me how to be what you want me to be today.

I kind of feel like I'm not doing this right. Lots of people in my group are using colored pencils and word lists?? Ack! Well, I love the Lord and I just pray and He shows me everything I'm supposed to learn from this!

Day 3 of my Journey Through Ephesians!

2012-01-18T09:05:00.003-06:00

S.O.A.P.

Scripture

7In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
8Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;
9Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
10That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:

Observation

Here's that word grace again. And wow, the "riches" of His grace. I wish I had just a penny worth of God's grace! I like the ESV bible, its says that grace is "lavished upon us in all insight and wisdom" "Lavished: Characterized by or produced with extravagance and profusion" Yup I really do NEED that much grace.... probably more! He definitely is insightful and wise!

Application

To always be seeking God's will because it is His pleasure for me to know it!

Prayer

Lord, show me your will for my life today.

Journey through Ephesians - Day 2

2012-01-17T07:56:00.003-06:00

Scripture

Ephesians 1 : 5-6
5Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
6To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Observation

God wants us to be His children. So I would surmise that we are not born the children of God, we must be adopted into His family. We can only become His child through Jesus. Grace, thats an interesting word. It seems to have a lot of meanings. The one that struck me as being a simple definition of God's grace was "Favor; mercy; pardon" God is doing me a favor to allow me into His family. I do not deserve to be here and He is merciful to me, a sinner, to pardon my transgressions and love me as a daughter!

Application

I gets the idea that strikes me is that if God can show me this much love and forgiveness then shouldn't I as a Christian (Christ-like) be able to show at least some measure of love and forgiveness to others? I think that today I will practice that on my children (only people around me regularly! haha!) I will try to remind myself that messes can be cleaned, broken things replaced and that they are only just learning! If I am their teacher, what lesson am I teaching today?? Am I showing them God's grace?? Love??

Prayer

Thank you Lord for giving me what I don't deserve! Salvation, my husband, my children, our material possessions....it's all from God!!! My prayer for today is that God will remind me to treat my own flesh and blood with at least some small measure of grace today. That I will show them favor, mercy and pardon today.

I joined an online bible study!

2012-01-16T12:47:00.003-06:00

Ok, So today marks the beginning of a 12 week bible study of Ephesians. I'm doing this with Good Morning Girls.

Today, I'm reading Ephesians 1:1-4. They follow the S.O.A.P. method of bible study.

S. scripture
O. observation
A. application
P. pray

S (scripture)

The KJV says...
"1Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus:

2Grace be to you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

4According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: "

O (observation)

Paul considered those at Ephasus to be faithful in Christ Jesus.

Spirtual blessing are what is noteworthy, it doesn't say "who has blessed us with big houses, fancy cars and lots of money"

God wants us to be holy and without blame.

A (application)

Am I faithful in Christ Jesus? I sure hope so! I doubt I'm as faithful as I should be. I find that in my current situation I'm always doubting if my faith is real because of the standards that I'm not interested in upholding. This is a tough place to be. Belonging to a church that I'm not 100% sure I want to be a part of. I love God and I desperately want to serve Him by raising these children He's given me in a way that displays His love so that maybe one day my children will choose to follow the Lord! I also want to serve Him by following my husband's leading (even if that means attending this church).

I need to stop worrying about the things of this world and remember that my blessings are in heaven. I see that to mean my children. I need to focus on making sure that these sweet little people come to know the Lord so that I will be able to enjoy the blessings of God throughout eternity!

What does being holy mean? I always go to the webster's 1828 dictionary to define words used in the KJV because it seems to provide a more accurate definition of the word. It says that holy means "Properly, whole, entire or perfect, in a moral sense. Hence, pure in heart, temper or dispositions; free from sin and sinful affections. Applied to the Supreme Being, holy signifies perfectly pure, immaculate and complete in moral character; and man is more or less holy, as his heart is more or less sanctified, or purified from evil dispositions. We call a man holy,when his heart is conformed in some degree to the image of God, and his life is regulated by the divine precepts. Hence, holy is used as nearly synonymous with good, pious, godly" That is intense! I really need to work on lots of that! I really want to try to focus on what God considers sinful. Instead of what church or man thinks. I think sometimes it is so easy to follow man's rules/standards rather than letting God lead us. The things I want to work on in life to make myself holy my temper, I'm not exibiting God's full love towards my children when I'm yelling at them. Blameless is a little more simple "Without fault; innocent; guiltless; not meriting censure" Again, if I want to be blameless before others then I open myself up to a whole gammet of what some people consider to be sinful. I want to focus on being blameless before God. This also applies to how I raise my children and keep my home. I need to focus on teaching the children about God's love for us and caring for the things God has given us. Sometimes I ask my kids to get dressed or help me clean up and I hear them ask "is someone coming over?" Wow, that gets me thinking! Are we doing the things we do to be seen of man?? Shouldn't we put the same effort in for no other reason but that God would have us to take good care of ourselves and our home?

P (pray)

My prayer for this bible study is that God would help me remember that those at Ephesus were faithful. I can learn about how to be faithful by reading this book.

My prayer for today is that God would show me the things in my life that are sinful so that I can repent of my sins. I want to truly know God's will and focus on hearing God's voice speak to me through His word and focus my day on seeking to glorify God in my home and in how I raise my children.

And as always, I'm praying that God will give me peace with our church if this is where I'm meant to be. If its not, I pray that He will guide my husband to lead our family where we should go.

Soul-searching... again

2012-01-12T14:59:00.004-06:00

I think I do this every few years. I'm searching. Things that have been happening, have left me with questions about what I believe. I'm questioning everything again. I'm so confused. I can find well-written, expertly researched articles with scriptural evidence to support almost any claim !??? Eek! What DO I belive? I recently read about universalism. They believe that everyone is going to heaven and that there is no such thing as a literal hell. This one has really floored me. Check it out for yourself! I just don't have the time to read everything there is to read but I'm just a little shaken.

My salvation. I think I wrote my testimony on here once. I should read it again. Here's the gist of it as I remember it.

As a child, I attended an evangelical summer bible camp. I was 2 months from my 8th birthday. My counsellor explained that Jesus had died for my sins and that if I said I was sorry for my sins and asked Him to come live in my heart then He would and I would get to go to heaven. Seemed like a good deal, so I did it! I buried my head into my brown sleeping bag, prayed and asked Jesus if He would live in my heart! After that I continued to attend church with my parents and thought of myself as a Christian. It was shortly after this experience that a dark family secret was revealed and my family life was turned upside down. In my teens, influenced by peer pressure I started to participate in worldly pleasures. I think I enjoyed the attention I got from "being bad". I spent more and more time with my school chums, less and less time with my church friends. I still attended church, worked at the bible camp in the summers and felt so close to the Lord during those summers! I prayed and read my bible everyday! Journalled all my devotions and really wanted to serve the Lord. But, I felt like I lived a double life at the time because upon returning to my school friends I returned to my sinful life. When I was 16 I decided that I should get baptized, a class was starting up and I remember thinking that maybe if I made a public declaration of my commitment to God that I would have an easier time resisting temptation. I was wrong. After high school, I moved to the big city and dove headlong into a world of sinful pleasures. I smoked, drank, did drugs and was promiscuous. I felt that I was unlovable because of my wickedness and did not believe that God could love or forgive me for any of the awful things I was doing. I did some things that are so wicked that I rarely speak of them. I felt like scum.

After 5 years of living in the depts of the world and having nothing left, I do mean nothing... spiritually, physically, monetarily, I was a bag of raw emotions. I begged my parents if I could move home. They relunctantly agreed. I met my hubby 3 months later. We became friends very quickly and I thought that maybe he would be a good influence on me because he went to a very conservative church. I was wrong... I was a BAD influence :( We got married 2 years later. Pregnant with our first baby I felt that we needed to find a church. It was the right thing to do. We attended several churches and in the end Aaron was very insistent that we attend his church. I did not want to go. I tried to make the best of things and after going there off and on for 2 years I felt like I needed to be there. I questioned my salvation experience as a child because of the sinful life I led for 5 years as an adult. I actually liked the idea that I was lost when I did all those awful things. Finally, after many times of ignoring the conviction of the Holy Spirit working on me to commit my life to God... I went forward, fell on my knees at the alter and with tears pouring off my face I begged God to save me!

I did not feel an instant relief... I needed time to process. I was invited into the office to talk privately with the Pastor's son. He did not realize what I had just asked God. He slapped his bible open and shut a couple times, announced, "you know what the bible says, you know what you need to do!" I turned to Aaron sitting by my said and asked him "what do you want me to do" he started to cry and said "I want you to get saved" I prayed and told my Lord that I felt tired and I just want him to take the lead in my life. Afterwards I was met with lots of people hugging me and congratulating me. It felt awkward. I wanted to be baptized because I felt that it was the logical next step. Joining the church was part of that step. I loved hearing the preaching and participating in the singing at church whether it was congregational or singing specials, the music and the bible really touched my heart. I slowly over time grew to be comfortable in my church.

In that last year, things have been changing.

This post is getting long. I'll continue tomorrow... or whenever I pull this thingy out again!

To be a baptist, or not to be....

2012-01-03T17:17:00.003-06:00

I don't believe...

1. wearing pants is sinful
2. drinking in moderation is prohibited
3. church discipline is necessary or beneficial
4. that God expects me to beat my children with a stick
5. music other than hymns is of the devil

I do believe...
1. I shouldn't dress to "show off"
2. people shouldn't drink to excess
3. we should show forgiveness and let people leave quietly if that is their desire.
4. God wants me to use my position of authority to teach my children
5. music is a form of entertainment, as long as its not DIShonoring God.

I've been studying out some of these topics and I'm obvisouly feeling very conflicted about my current choice of denomination. I will be continuing to pray and seek God's guidance. Ultimately, the church our family attends is my husband's decision.

Conflict

2011-12-19T21:44:00.003-06:00

For the record, this "conflict" I speak of was NOT with any member of my family.

Fight or Flight. I'm a little of both I suppose. I try to fight for what I believe in and when I'm left to compromise my values I feel an overwhelming urge to just walk away. My hubby says that I "just want my own way" and I'm sure he's right to some extend. But, I feel like in most things I can easily compromise. I'm fairly easy going and like to think of myself as a people pleaser for the most part but some things matter to me enough to put my foot down and be unmoved.

I may seem ridiculous I suppose. I'm apparantly an odd person for having this conviction. I think that it is only natural to feel this way and a person has to teach themselves to feel otherwise. I have forced myself to see it their way time and time again and finally I just feel like I'm sick of having my beliefs discredited and disrespected without biblical backing. If someone could just show me that I'm actually "wrong" and that the other option is "right" I would happily go along with it... or would I? It seems I just keep finding reasons that prove I'm just a square peg trying to wriggle my way into a round hole?

God knows my heart. He knows I'm true. The things that He's shown me in my life, the things that have happened. Is the place I'm at just a stepping stone in my walk with You Lord??

Lacey Rose

2011-10-06T13:36:00.000-05:00

Lacey Rose ~ October 5, 2011 ~ 7:25 am ~ 8 lbs 1 oz ~ solo unassisted homebirth

People always say that every labour and birth is different and I always agreed. There were definite variations between my other 3 births but Lacey’s birth was weird….but still oh so very beautiful and incredibly empowering and faith affirming! It wasn’t really that bad of a birth but I get my head wrapped around ideas and then I can’t think my way out! A wonderful trusted friend and midwife recommended a herbal tincture called “gentle birth” to me. It was a concoction of herbs meant to be taken in the last 5 weeks of pregnancy to help produce and quick and easy labour with less pain. Of course, I tried to tell myself repeatedly that this may not happen but my mind is a powerfully treacherous place! I took the tincture and as promised had an increased amount of Braxton hicks style contractions throughout the 5 weeks leading up to my due date. That date came and went leaving my confidence about my due date (set by me, in accordance to my charting dates) shaken as I went on to be 8 days late. This day I took some more drastic measures and employed some labour promoting activities. The next day I began to see some “show” and got incredibly hopeful. Still more “show” coming on Tuesday (10 days past my EDD) but no contractions yet. Discouraged, I decided to distract myself. I took my 3 children (aged 5.5yrs, 4yrs, and 22 months) to town. My confidence as a mother was restored and I had a fun day as we went to Wal-Mart, Dollarama, McDonald’s and Superstore! All without any major meltdowns, fighting or temper tantrums! (from kids OR mom!) At home while cooking supper I noticed that those cramps I’d been having were a little more intense and coming every 5 mins! This was around 4pm Tuesday. My hubby came home and we ate supper, then went to go vote in our local elections. By 7pm, they were definitely contractions and I was super excited!!! Aaron put the kids to bed around 8 while I jumped into our nice deep jetted bathtub. I stayed there for a couple hours with the pains progressing nicely in intensity and strength coping beautifully mostly by just breathing and enjoying the water. I THOUGHT this was going to go quickly! I was praying and thanking God for His blessings and for helping me cope so well.

Fast forward a few more hours and you will see a much less confident woman with a lot less thankfulness and a lot more pleading in her prayers! I was feeling very exhausted and starting to question myself incredibly! It was around 2am and I was wondering what the hold up was. As far as I could figure, I’d been in active labour for at least 7 hrs and my other kids had all been born after about 8 hrs of active labour! This meant that the tincture was useless and what was worse, it didn’t seem that her arrival was imminent! I had asked Aaron to check me (again, I hated being checked by my midwives, but I really don’t find my husband’s checking uncomfortable in any way) and he felt that I was making progress but couldn’t really judge in centimetres because the bag of water was bulging through my cervix. I begged him to break it! Thinking to other people’s birth stories where this would “speed things along”. Knowing full well that I normally wouldn’t be comfortable intervening in the birth process at all, my sweetie talked me out of my foolish thought. Then I began begging to go to the hospital for an epidural so that I could sleep and heck, while we’re there lets just have a c-section and get her out!!! Aaron sweetly suggested that maybe I was in transition? I laughed at him for his ridiculous thought as it did not feel as though this child was anywhere near exiting my body! Then, my next paranoia hit as I felt for her head… what if she’s transverse?? That’s it! She’s sideways lying across my womb and will NEVER come out! Once again, give Aaron a trophy for somehow convincing me to stay home… yet again. What would I have done without him?

3 am now and suddenly it was like everything just slowed down. I could’ve cried. I thought, my labour has STALLED! Now what do I do? I prayed and prayed through all of this begging God to help me and to deliver this baby. Expressing my great inability to continue on with this labour. My wise and humble husband suggested, “honey, why don’t you try to sleep between the contractions?” So I tried, although I wouldn‘t call it sleep exactly I did stay in bed and rest between contractions. This was when my sweetie fell asleep next to me while rubbing my back. 6am, and I HAD to get up! The contractions were finally full force again and barely a break between them! I felt like squatting. I came to my living room couch to use for support and realized that my body was bearing down a bit. I kept squatting by my couch until my legs were shaking and my body was weak and tingling. It was around 7am, I decided I needed the support of my toilet to continue on with this! As soon as I got on there, I decided to bear down with one of these contractions and my water broke!!! I felt for her head, and sure enough it was just a few inches away! I prayed to God to help me breath between the contractions so as not to injure my abs like I had done with lil Wesley’s birth. But I pushed with all my might during each and every contraction!
Finally, after about half an hour of pushing I delivered my sweet baby girl! She started to make noise right away and was a beautiful shade of pink almost immediately! My bathtub was still warm from my last soak and I jumped in to rinse us both off, yelling for Aaron to wake up (he’s a pretty sound sleeper to have not heard me growling through all that pushing!) Finally, Lacey let out a really solid cry rather than her cute little squawks and he came running in! Excitedly saying “oh good, she’s finally here!” I asked him the time, 7:25am. He quickly sprang into action passing me a receiving blanket and getting me a towel to help me out of the tub. Danielle woke up and started following me around excitedly holding her new sister’s hand! I plunked down on a couple chux pads on the couch and tried to nurse Lacey, her cord was a little short to get her into a comfortable position so I just kept her skin to skin and sent Danielle to find a baby hat. After delivering the placenta, answering all of Jack’s questions about blood and umbilical cords, I cut the cord, dressed her and finally was able to nurse her about 8:30am. Wow, what a labour and what a beautiful girl God gave me!

I must say that I don’t really think this labour would have been that terribly difficult if not for having had my mind thinking “quick and easy labour and delivery” I imagine that herbal tinctures to aid labour may work well for other women but I think the psychological damage of such a promise was absolutely hideous for me! Over all, I was able to continually recommit myself to trusting God throughout this process and delivered a healthy baby girl! Thanks be to God for His many blessings!

"Uriah Archibald"

2011-07-13T21:16:00.002-05:00

During the pregnancies of my previous three children I was not offered to know the gender of the infant during my standard diagnostic ultrasounds. Understandably we picked out names for either gender during each pregnancy. We never "re-used" a name. If their genders were reversed; Danielle would have been Vincent; Jack would have been Lilian; Wesley would have been Erica.

We went for a 3D ultrasound for fun this time! I had already been feeling very much like this was going to be a girl and had prayed and asked God to give us another little girl if that was His will. In the same prayer I was asking to get pregnant quickly if we were meant to have a 4th child. I discovered the pregnancy later that very month so felt confident that God was giving me the desires of my heart! The ultrasound technician confirmed my suspicians saying that she felt quite confident that we had a little girl on the way :-D

At that point we started picking names. The idea of "re-using" past name choices came up and I just felt as though those names had been used already. I also kidded with a friend that each of our kids has their "alter-ego"! She laughed at my reasoning and joked as to whether or not we would pick a boy name for this baby so that she could have an "alter-ego" as well! Relaying the story to my husband later we laughed and he said "sure, Archibald" In throws of laughter I exclaimed "Uriah!" And so it is that we have named this baby (not yet born) Lacey, whose alter-ego is Uriah Archilbald!!

But, every now and again it really hits me that despite this ultrasound and my intuition, this COULD be a boy. Today was one of those days. Over the past few days I've been buzzing like a bee washing and sorting clothes, moving around furniture and boxes. All to prepare for this new baby. I purchased a matching crib sheet, fleece blanket and receiving blankets (pink with purple and blue flowers and butterflies), some wall stickers (flowers and butterflies) I've acquired a used infant carseat (pink), a bumbo baby chair thing (pink) I have 5 drawers of a dressor, 2 diaper boxes and a 54 gal rubbermaid bin all FULL of baby girl clothes! I don't have ANY baby boy clothes. A few of the sleepers and undershirts etc are neutral... but still on the girlie side of neutral.

So, Uriah Archibald, because of the absolute inconveniance that you would cause I do hope that you remain the alter-ego of our lil Lacey!

The best laid plans of MOTHERS often go awry!

2011-07-11T12:01:00.002-05:00

So, I'm not entirely certain how our household has adopted this 'schedule' but I can't seem to force us out of it.

You see, when I first became a mother to Danielle some 5ish years ago I knew nothing of baby routines or feeding schedules or sleep training. I knew I had a little baby who needed my love as well as to be fed, burped, changed and bathed. Of course, because I'd not done any homework on motherhood I relied on those in my life to educate me further. At first, I faced a confusing time when she would cluster feed in the evenings, my team of educators advised me of my baby's obvious need for more food than my body could provide and I began feeding my 8 week old infant packaged baby cereal. I've since learned that cluster feeding is a normal activity for infants and is for the purpose of increasing my body's supply of milk! I've gone on to feed both my boys nothing but my milk for the first 6 months of their lives. But now I've gone and turned this into a breastfeeding lesson.

Back to the topic. I was also taught that babies need to sleep on a schedule and so I began waking up my daughter at 8 am and putting her to bed at 8pm. She didn't mind at all. So I put both the boys on this same basic schedule and of course became a lot less rigid with the implimentation of this routine as the years went on. Somehow, without my permission, this schedule has changed. I can't place the exact reason but our children now go to bed around 10pm (lets put a schocked face emoticon here!!! :-0 and then do not rise in the morning until between 9 and 10 am!!!! If you don't quite understand why this is alarming to me, the mother, the keeper of this home, please take note that I am not a night owl. Despite my antics as a teenager and young adult... I much prefer to go to bed early and rise up early. This is the schedule that society functions ideally on, not to mention that all playdates amongst my crowd are scheduled around 10am (meaning that I would have to have all three children fed, dressed and out the door no later than 9:30am to arrive in a timely manner, due to the location of our residence) Plus Sunday school and soccer both begin at 10am, so we're already looking at 2-3 morning out of the week that would require my children and I to be out of bed at an early hour. Yet, there is Thursday evening serive, which facilitates the late to bed, late to rise lifestyle.

The problem I face is, the best way to fix this problem is to wake up 3 small children early in the morning.... which of course means that I would have to be awake and parenting these small children early in the morning. I must say, I have really been enjoying lazily sauntering out of my bedroom at 8:30 or 9 am and having a cup of tea BY MYSELF :) Not to mention my husband who is self-employed much prefers the late to late life. So, my jealousy often burns into fury when I see our provider still relaxing in our bed at 10am while I`ve been up for hours with OUR small chidren. But really I haven`t a leg to stand on there because he often works later into the evening (as this is his preference) and I do not have to work outside the home at all. Regardless, I want this to change....

Soooo tomorrow... I will wake everyone up early, including myself and see if I can`t somehow FIX this ridiculous problem.

Some of my thoughts on birth.

2011-07-01T21:32:00.002-05:00

As I'm sure you know, I'm expecting our 4th child in late Sept - early Oct. I am planning to have my second unassisted homebirth or freebirth. During my last pregnancy I was forced to choose an unassisted homebirth or a mw assisted hospital birth. For a lot of reasons, one main reason was that God gave me peace about the decision...I chose to birth at home... it was faith-affirming, empowering and soo educational! I learned so much in the last few months of my pregnancy about birth and about mid-wives vs med-wives (thats another post!) I found out that UC is perfect for me!

I tend to be a ppl pleaser in life and during my first two labors and births I was always looking to my med-wife for instruction and approval. Because of the fear of birth that society had taught me I couldn`t trust that my body could give birth. I was afraid of every complication and especially afraid of the pain. I took a real grit my teeth and bear it approach to pain management and somehow birthed two beautiful children. Afterward I gave all the credit to my midwives, ``without them I couldn`t have done it`` With Wesley`s birth I was forced to seek my guidance from my body and my God. I was suddenly so much more confident and comfortable! Not afraid or tense, I was relaxed and calm through the process. I had researched enough to know that complications are rare and had prayed and sought God enough to know that He would be with me, no matter what outcome.

I now view birth as a private and intimate event and can't imagine sharing the moment with anyone other than my husband!

Christianity is often seen as the reason why women experience pain in childbirth. I beleive that the KJV of the bible is the true inspired Word of God and that all other interpretations are merely words of men. The KJV does not curse Eve with simply "pain" in child-bearing as other translations do. God said "... I will greatly multiply thy SORROW and they conception; in SORROW thou shalt bring forth children" which to me was encouraging to see that it was not simply "pain" read on and you'll see that God gave the same "curse" of SORROW to Adam. Immediately, I was relieved. Clearly, God did not bestow upon all men excruciating pain while they work and eat! The word SORROW translates to "worrisomeness, labor, pain, sorrow, toil" We've got a hard job to do, but I believe that just as men can find satisfying work in this weary world, so women can find satisfying births! I've even read about women who have been able to abolish all their fears and hangups about birth and actually found the event pleasurable!?! I would definitely say that the moment my babies were born I felt joy, love, relief, release and yes PLEASURE! The other thing that I loved about my God was that He gave the job of child-bearing directly to WOMEN! not men. I believe that its my job to deliver my baby, not a midwife or a doctor or even my husband.

Its my work, and I take full responsibility for it!

Thanks for reminding me!

2011-06-30T23:43:00.002-05:00

So, a friend reminded me that I have a blog. She seems to think I might be interesting or funny. So rather than trying to write about 'stuff' I'll instead just write about the fluff in my head! Or at least the fluff that occured during the day.

Quick update!!!! Baby #4 is due to make her arrival September 24, 2011!!! It is a girl. We feel fairly certain that we'll call her Lacey.

Today was hot. Record setting hot. I was grouchy. I woke up to poor lil Wesley at 7:15 am. After having had a late evening boating the night before I was fully anticipating that EVERYONE would take note of the late hour and choose to sleep in this morning. Wesley missed the memo. He has a bit of diarrhea which does not seem to be affecting his health otherwise but it has surely affected the color of his posterior. Its red... flaming red. So, after stripping, bathing and dressing poor sore Wesley I once again stared at my can-sleep-through-tornados-for-ever-and-ever husband and mentioned to him at 7:45,8, 8:30, 9 and 9:30 am that "the day has begun and while I am up and existing you ...are... not." Running his own business is lovely, but it causes me great envy. I wish I could set the hours of my empoloyment, but as seen by the previously mentioned small child awakening at 7:15, I do not. At 9:45am, I was in a foul mood. Hot, sweaty, pregnant and TIRED! I yelled. It was bad. I felt so badly and so guilty for my outburst and likely cruel words that I was in a horrid mood for pretty much the rest of the whole day. Gratefully, my husband being a man a few words. Said nothing about my outburst and simply got up and took the older kids with him while he worked in our field for the day. This gave me ample opportunity to pray that God would help fix my bad mood and I even snuck a nap in while Wesley napped!

My prayer for today "Thank you Lord for giving me a husband who is smart enough to figure out how to improve things. Please wake him up in the mornings!!! Or, show me how to be more accepting of his preferred hours."

The rest of the day went really well. I got everyone ready for church on time and had an iced capp on the way to church! yum yum!

2010-10-07T11:57:00.002-05:00

Deborah Tagged me to do a "meme". Although I still exist in blog-land I really don't know anyone so I may transfer this to facebook after. But I will participate in the meme because she is Aaron's Auntie and I'm nice like that! LOL!

I was given 8 questions to answer and told to compose my own 8 questions to pass along. Which will be incredibly hard for me as I'm not terribly creative!

What is your 'life verse' or verses that have special meaning to you, (This could be scriptures that helped you through a difficult time or helped bring you to salvation, or impacted you in some other way.)
I could really go on and on about this one!

Isaiah 63:6 "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast."

2. And why? I thought that a prayer I said when I was 7 years old made me a Christian. I went on to live a wretced, sinful life all the while thinking I was just a 'backslidden' Christian. After the birth of my first child I started to think about her future and started seeking 'religion'. After hearing the preaching of the Word for months and months these verses were preached and finally it hit me. What I needed was not to 'clean up' my life. I needed salvation!!!!

3. What is your favorite story (or stories) from the Bible?
I love the book of Ruth.

4. Why is it meaningful to you?
She was an amazing woman. I can't even fathom the devotion she had to God and to her mother in law. I think an especially difficult thing she did was to give her child to Naomi. There are plenty of people who I love but I can't think of one person I would want to give my baby away to, no matter how good a person! But God told her to so she did. It reminds me that some of the sacrifices God asks me to make are really quite small. Of course my favorite part is Ruth 4:16 "And Naomi took the child, and laid it in her bosom, and became nurse unto it."
5. Do you have a favorite 'phrase' from the Bible? (such as 'it came to pass,' 'his mercy endureth forever,' 'count it all joy', 'but God' etc.)
Its a whole verse but still a 'phrase' I think 1 Thess 5:17 "Pray without ceasing"

6. Do you have some special memories or a testimony that you would like incorporated into a song? (links to special blog posts are helpful)
The most special memories to me are those of Wesley's birth and the time leading up to it where I really drew the closest to God. I don't think it could be a song!

7. If you had a theme song for your life and faith, what thoughts or statements would you want it to contain?
I'm not good at thinking things like that up.... I guess probably just how unworthy I feel to have been given salvation.

8. What would your theme song sound like? (what music style, fast, slow, upbeat, sombre...give an example of a similar sounding song if possible)
All of the above! I would imagine it to have plenty of ups and downs in pace and many genre changes throughout!

Wow, that was harder than I thought!!! And now I have to come up with my own 8 questions?? I don't think mine will be so deep... I'm changing the tone of this meme from thought-provoking and soul-searching to random and pointless!!!

1. What color are your laundry baskets?
2. How do you take your coffee?
3. Do you abide by the '5-seconds on the floor is ok' rule?
4. What is the messiest room in your house?
5. When you go out for coffee with friends, what is your favorite snack to order?
6. Who was your kindergarten teacher?
7. Where does dryer lint come from?
8. What scent is your deoderant?

I'm putting this on facebook now!

Where did the time go?

2010-09-16T11:16:00.002-05:00

Wow, its the middle of September! Summer just flew by at the speed of light! I kept a garden and am actually harvesting food from it. The kids had tons of fun playing in the dirt and building their imaginations. We have some cute black fluffy kittens to enjoy and managed to plant 2 rows of trees that actually survived!

Danielle has so much to say and is in love with learning her letters! If only I took a little more time to teach her, but this year is not kindergarten yet so I will be taking my time. She is full of energy and is excellent at helping me around the house. She loves to do her hair, paint her nails and is very inquisitive about my make-up but at the same time has no problems going out and getting covered from head to toe in mud! She can ride her bike incredibly well and LOVES animals.

Jack is a very determined, willful little fellow who wants to be able to do everything that his big sister does and more! He is steady, calm and thoughtful in his actions and has a generally quiet disposition. He is still my snuggler but is starting to outgrow the desire to be curled up in Mama's lap. He turns 3 next month!!! He takes his tricycle 'mud-bogging' and disappears with Daddy's hammer whenever it is left available for little hands to pilfer.

Wesley is my loud one. I thought Danielle was until Wesley came along. Because he is non-verbal he communicates solely by screaming, yelling, whining and sometimes laughing. I continue to encourage quiet by responding to him in the tone of voice that would be more appropriate and am trusting that he will sooner or later catch on. He is 9 months old and can crawl very well, pull himself up to his knees and eats table food very well with only his bottom middle 2 teeth! He loves to be with people, especially his older siblings and he really seems to enjoy music.

Aaron's business is taking off, but we are going to really need to be trusting God now that winter is coming because its very hard to do construction in 8 feet of snow. Although I've always wanted 4 children Aaron is feeling satisfied with 3 so I'm trying to come to terms with the idea of quitting here.

Unity

2010-07-27T11:22:00.002-05:00

Camp was awesome! Bro John's preaching was a wonderful blessing from God. The theme for the week was unity and the focus was on relationships. I must say that it certainly is a wonderful thing to meditate on the kind of relationships God would want me to have. I feel very blessed to have been a part of it all.

Update on my family! Everyone loved camp! Even Wesley! There were lots of young girls especially one 13 year old who spent lots of time playing with him and keeping him happy! Everyone slept remarkably well and we had a great time being active with our church family and eating lots of yummy food. Yes, Wesley too eats food still. Once the flu had run its course he renewed his interest in solid food quite quickly and very obvisously. Those who say that commencement of solids begins the weaning process are quite right. He now only nurses every 4 hrs as opposed to the every 2 hrs he previsouly nursed. If I try to nurse him before mealtime he gets quite annoyed, pulling off and pushing me away but greedily goobles up whatever is on the spoon. He likes food, and I'm slowly but surely becoming ok with that! :) He still very much enjoys nursing when he does nurse.

Keep a dear friend in prayer as her little one is battling a difficult illness. He is the same age as Wesley and its so hard to imagine such a hard thing for a sweet little baby and for his mother to be under so much stress when she still has 4 other children to care for.

I've been off my dieting for a while now and was up to 203 lbs yesterday. Thats 13lbs GAINED in about 4 weeks!!!!! Truly terrible. So I was really careful and good yesterday and was down to 201 this morning! I'm going to really start to pay attention again. Especially since I think that my milk supply issues had nothing to do with the Arbonne shakes I was drinking but the crystal light/aspertame/splenda drinks that I was drinking! I had one not too long ago and sure enough Wesley was miserable the next 2 nursing sessions! I've had the Arbonne shakes again here and there and he's had no reaction. My goal is still 175 and I'm hoping to reach it by Oct. 26th.

Resuming Exclusively Breastfeeding?

2010-06-25T13:18:00.003-05:00

I've always thought once you introduce solids there is really no turning back. The weaning process has begun and thats it.... or is it?

Sadly, my little man seems to have come down with the flu. It started Tuesday. He was quite cranky and everytime I offered him a meal, he'd take one or two mouthfuls and then refuse to take anymore. But the end of the day it was apparant that his frequent bowel movements had become diarrhea and I happily nursed him as often as he wanted to help flush his system and boost up natural anti-bodies. Wednesday he ate no solids and had the runs all day. Thursday the runs were subsiding but he still showed no interest in solids. Today his poo seems to be back to that of an exclusively breastfed baby and he still shows no interest in eating food! Could it be that we had a 2 week stint of feeding solids and now with my milk supply re-established we can return to exclusive nursing!!? Maybe its too soon to tell, but I'm hopeful that my dreams of baby-led solids may have only been way-layed for a couple short weeks due to vain stupidity and my little man can continue to get all that wonderful breastmilk until he sprouts some chompers!!!!

Eating my words

2010-06-09T10:35:00.004-05:00

Wow, talk about irony. So, I never took pictures but I fed my baby solids
:( me of all people! I'm feeling somewhat low, but happy that my baby is happy.

Wesley had of course been doing the typical baby things, watching us eat, grabbing at my food. These are things that I don't think necessarily mean its time to offer solids. Most babies watch, grab and put anything in their mouths. So here's what changed. Suddenly, my little guy was waking up in the night again. I figured at first, must be a growth spurt. Then he seemed to get very dissatisfied at the end of nursing sessions. I thought, maybe my calorie cutting is too extreme. I weighed him and discovered that he hadn't gained anything in 3 weeks! 14lbs 12oz. So, I started eating like a starved refugee! I could tell my milk production was up and he was nursing every 1.5 hrs during the day and still up 2-3 times a night. Still he would often cry after being nursed, suck his soother and fall asleep.

I just thought, "this is crazy! he's still hungry!" So one evening I offered some mashed bananas. He gagged a little and didn't swallow much. Next, I offered a bite of my oatmeal. Same response. I thought, "nope he's not ready yet" But still the crazy nursing and night wakings went on. A friend came over. Her little guy is just 13 days older than Wesley and eating solids. She forgot a jar of baby food here, mixed fruit. I mixed it into some wheatlets the next morning. He loved it! He gobbled up the whole tiny baby bowl full! He hasn't looked back.

In the mornings I think, maybe he doesn't really need food. Then he sees us eating and gets all excited and bounces, he sees a bowl of food and starts opening his mouth in anticipation, squeaking out protests if I don't offer him any. Squeals of anger bursting when the spoon does not return to him brimming in a timely manner. I nurse him before his meals and he still eats his food!

I've commenced the weaning process and I couldn't be sadder :( But he is so happy! And he's even gained up to 15 lbs 6 oz. He still nurses every 2-3 hrs and I only offer food at breakfast and supper at this point. But he's back to sleeping well at night and is happy nursing again. Falls asleep contentedly at my breast and comes away happy and full!

My only worry and regret is the dieting. Could I have avoided the food if I had not been cutting calories to cut my waitline? Did my own quest for vanity cause me to give up on my dream of delaying solids or was he just ready for food? I'll never know for sure and I can't exactly beat myself up over it. There seems to be no turning back as this little fellow surely seems to enjoy food! I sure do miss those exclusively breastfed poo diapers.

List of things he's eaten so far. Wheatlets (cheaper cream of wheat, no additives) Jarred fruits, jarred sweet potatoes (now that I know he likes them I will buy some and make and freeze some homemade baby food), lentils (he did not care for these!), fork mashed chicken stew (a potatoe, carrot and gravy).... he loves the fruit, and stew!

Sorry for being a bad example of delayed solids but I'll keep telling myself that I still did baby-led solids!

Baby led solids.

2010-05-20T11:20:00.002-05:00

Sometimes called baby led weaning, or delayed solids. I wanted to post about this because most things I've read talk more about "mother-nature" and the idea that "baby knows best" I believe God is in control here and that He put me in authority over my kids for a reason. We can learn a lot from the bible. Gen 21:8 "And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned." Weaning babes in the bible was usually celebrated with a feast, historically this has been show to be between the age of 3-5 years of age!!! Somehow I doubt that people back then were starting the weaning process at only a few months of age. (introduction of solid foods is considered to commence the process of weaning)

We can also learn a lot by looking at things with common sense. Our babies come into this world with the ability to suck milk and no teeth. Research is indicating that their little tummies don't have the ability to digest anything other than mother's milk until at least 6 months. This is not minimum age to start solid by. Some babies might be ready by this age and others may thrive on mothers milk until well into their second year of life. I've read many accounts of children who 'ate' nothing but mother's milk for the first 13 - 18 months of life and were perfectly healthy, happy children. Once they started eating solids they were able to chew and swallow easily and dove into eating table foods with no special preparation.

We didn't always have processed baby cereals, pureed jarred foods or blenders. So what would a baby need to truly eat their food? Teeth!!! Logic tells me that a baby won't be able to eat what I'm eating until they can chew it up. So what can you feed them if they only have a couple teeth and you're worried about chocking? Soft cooked meats, lentils, beans or egg yolks are great because they are high in protein and iron. (Just like all the infant cereals are fortified with over-processed and artificial forms of) Steamed veggies and soft fruits can be cut up into small chunks. Raw fruits and veggies can be grated. If you're interested in offering dairy you can use yogurt, grated hard cheese or cubed softer cheeses. Bread, crackers, cooked pasta and rice for grains. The basic idea is to wait until your baby has a couple chompers and can handle palming or picking up food directly from their bowls/plates/high chair trays! Messy but this way they start eating exactly what they're supposed to and if you wait until they're older and start with the softest foods they learn to chew and swallow safely!

I'm really considering this more and more. With my oldest, I started with packaged infact cereals at 2 mos old, jarred veggies/fruits at 4 mos, moved onto the jarred casseroles around 6 mos and then started the chunkier jarred foods around 8 mos. From there she started eating mashed table foods. My second born I delayed solids till 6 mos but I did start with spoon feeding blended table foods, cereals and mashed fruits.

Wesley is currently 5 months old and show no signs of teeth erupting at this point and he is thriving on breastmilk alone! He has more than doubled his birth weight, is alert and happy, can roll from back to front (then gets furious until you flip him back!) and sleeps at least 8 hours consecutively each night. I think he would be able to sit up mostly on his own if he didn't constantly kick his feet and topple over. I have no plans to start offering solids at this point. I'll keep you posted and put up pictures when we offer him his first "meal".

Of course I plan to nurse him until he starts to wean naturally onto solid foods. I do not plan to 'wean' him onto an alternate milk whether it be cow's, goat's or formula (that is what I did with Jack) and I don't use bottles at all. Until he is at least 12 months old I will be offering my milk BEFORE his meals as it contains 100% of his daily nutrition!

Sometimes I just feel glum

2010-05-05T18:53:00.003-05:00

I can't quite place any particular reason, but I just feel a little glum somedays.

Today is one of those days.

Perhaps I didn't get enough sleep or could it be just being a Mom in general is getting to me at times. The hardest thing is to not eat over it. I did ok during the day and kept my calories consumption at an adequate level, but now the evening is hear, Aaron's gone to church for door-knocking and I'm sitting at this computer trying oh so very hard to not get up and eat rice crispy squares or make myself a big bowl of buttery popcorn. I'm staying on track with my goals (193 lbs as of yesterday!) so I have incentive to behave, but oh how I want to just pig out tonight!!! Pray pray pray... and then I'll pray some more.

As soon as the kids are done their movie I think we'll be working towards a dragged out bedtime, including stories, songs and cuddles just to cheer Mommy up!

But then there is the issue of the baby... his day has been weird. He was up for a feed at 4am, then up from 8am-10am. Napped from 10am-11am, up 11am-1pm, napped 1pm-2pm, and then up 2pm-5pm... so now he's finally taking a nice long nap?! Which likely means that he won't be going to bed around 9pm as per usual... weird little baby. I feel inclined to start forceful scheduling but in the past (with Jack in particular) found that to make each of us quite miserable... fighting the urge to impose rigid sleeping/eating schedule... children seem to do much better with guidance and love. Maybe I'll wake him up, that might be the ticket! I'll wake him up now (cause its 7pm - he's napped for 2 hrs) and then hopefully he'll be tired again by 9pm... that would be nice. Wish me luck!

Finally a moment to sit and blog!

2010-04-23T08:14:00.002-05:00

Last week Sunday ended our missions conference! Quite amazing! Lots of wonderful preaching, tons of great food and an awesome banquet with phenominal music to top it all off! Those Fort girls can really sing!

Weight loss update:
I've started 'weighing in' with a friend. We've committed to try to lose 2 lbs a week for the next 12 week so thats a total of 35lbs lost by the end of it! So far my first weigh in (Tues April 20th) I was down to 197 so I met my 2 lb goal!!! I'm feeling great and starting to fit back into some skirts that have been waiting patiently in my closet to go out!

Update on kids:
Since Danielle turned 4 she`s now sitting upstairs in church and loving it! She desperately wants to go up to the front and sing a special with me so I`m going to pick a song and start practising with her. I`m thinking of doing Sunshine in my Soul. I often sing it around the house and so she knows at least 2 verses of it reasonably well.

Jack wants to be outside ALL THE TIME! I`m so happy to live out in the country! He can even get his own rubber boots on and let himself out but always comes and tells me! Then I can easily see the kids from any of my windows so I can carry on puttering in the house.

Wesley rolled over for the first time yesterday. He`s been consistently sleeping 10 hours a night for at least 3 weeks now but last night woke up at 1am for some reason. He`s very smiley and friendly and since I quit drinking coffee about a month ago he rarely spits up or has gas issues. Coffee... my longed for lost friend... one day maybe I`ll get to drink it again!

Yard :
We actually got some work done on the yard and we`re discussing where to plant trees, the garden and where we want to have bon-fires when company come over. So much to decide and plan out, and soooo much more work to do! I`m very happy and excited to have our own land to do it with!

Ok thats it for blogging!

Cause and Effect

2010-03-27T08:53:00.002-05:00

Life is all about cause and effect. So, what is the effect of not getting out of bed when your 4 year comes in to tell you its morning? Rice crispies all over the kitchen and living room!

What is the effect of eating more calories than are alloted to you for the day? I didn't lose any more weight :( Gratefully I didn't gain but I'm determined to be good today. I need to pray more than prayers of thanksgiving before I start eating, I need to be praying for guidance!

What is the effect of a baby sleeping for 8 hrs straight again?! Well obvisouly not a Mommy who can just out of bed the moment her 4 year tells her that 'its light outside Mommy' But I'm at least feeling fairly chipper now that I'm finally up and having my shake! I need a blender so I can make smooties...

What is the effect of a husband working on Saturday? A wife who has just decided to go to Brandon and buy a blender!!!

Update on Life

2010-03-25T15:37:00.002-05:00

Well before I got pregnant with Wesley I had just lost 40lbs... I weighed 185! After he was born (Dec 13, 2009) I weighed in at 210lbs, still 15lbs less than my heaviest. I've just started counting calories again and I've already lost 6lbs! Very exciting! I find I always do best when I consume the majority of my calories during the day and then eat a light supper or just have a shake (I use the Arbonne figure 8 go easy shakes whenever I can't find anything healthy to eat) Oh and just for the record, yes I am breastfeeding and yes you can diet while breastfeeding. You simply allow yourself an additional 500 calories per day.

We moved into our new bedroom last weekend and moved the kids into their respective bedrooms. The big kids LOVE their big room! We even had company yesterday evening and it effectively contained 5 children! (for the most part, there was some occasional spill over into the living areas) Wesley is sleeping great in his own room! He slept for 8 hrs two nights in a row, how lucky for me. Lets just see if this trend continues.

Well he's awake and wanting food!

Obsessed with Breastfeeding.

2010-03-22T13:07:00.003-05:00

In my devotions today I was reading in Romans. These verses stuck out to me.

Romans 2:25 "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature."

Ok so I really think of myself now as a bit of a lactivist... someone who advocates for breastfeeding to be normalized and that all babies should be given breastmilk. This is probably because I only nursed my daughter for 6 months and not exclusively. She was supplemented with formula (because I didn't understand growth spurts), given baby cereal from 8 weeks on (to help her sleep through the night) and she grew to prefer the bottle by about 5 months old so by 6 months... I quit. I wanted to do things differently for first born son, so I researched like crazy, found support from those successful at breastfeeding, attended La Leche League meetings and when he came along... I nursed him exclisively till he was 6 mos old and continued to nurse half way through my pregnancy with my second born son! I also believe that God made our bodies to feed our children and I believe that our culture has prevented us from carrying on with our God-given roles as mothers by providing us with 'easier' and 'more conveniant' feeding alternatives. We've also lost the ability to support mothers who do choose to breastfeed with horrible advice that has been passed down through the generations and I think its time we stopped and took a look at how God made our bodies, how God made our babies bodies, how things were done biblically and stop trusting the creature (man... or in this case manufactured formulas!)

Our bodies produce milk when a baby is born. In order to maintain a good milk supply babies must be fed on demand, not be given anything else to eat or drink, and pacifiers should be used minimally (or not used at all). Simple. Somehow the world has complicated this with use of bottles (either for water, juice or formula), teaching mothers to ignore their instincts and only feed babies according to a schedule (using pacifiers to help 'tide them over'), and introducing baby cereals and purees.

Babies bodies are born with teeny tiny stomachs and require frequent feedings. They thrive optimally on human breast milk and require only this milk in order to meet all their needs for thirst, hunger and they also recieve a great deal of comfort from it. (there are plenty of verses throughout the bible that talk of recieving comfort at the breast, or as a suckling babe... etc etc.) The other side of the coin is the increased risk of aquiring a long list of diseases in adulthood from being formula fed or started on solids too early in infancy... obesity, diabetes, crohn's, colitis and MS are just a few! Why no cereals/purees? Baby's are born with no teeth and God didn't invite blenders! I believe in starting solids around the time the first teeth appear, that way you can start with soft finger foods or fork-mashed table foods! This age is different for all babies ranging from 4-14 mos, all babies are different. How long to breastfeed is another burning question. Think about this... babies start losing their baby teeth aka 'milk teeth' around age 5 and our immune systems aren't fully developed until around that age also. (I made it till age 2, so far)

Abraham made a great feast the day Isaac was weaned and Samuel was brought to the priest when he was weaned. I can't imagine that these children would have been younger than 5-7 years old! Yet its rare to find someone still nursing a child at 6 months in our culture! Whats shocking to me is that these babes are given milk substitutes... if these babies are still needing milk, why not their mother's?

So lets stop listening to the lies! You do have enough milk, its plenty rich enough and its completely normal for your baby to want to nurse every hour sometimes! No they don't necessarily sleep through the night and no, you won't spoil them. They're still completely trainable after having been nurtured and loved.. maybe more so!

Unassisted Birth Story

2010-02-26T22:47:00.002-06:00

Birth Story
Wesley Gerald Blair
Sunday December 13th, 2009
2:50pm
8lbs 2oz

A little background. My oldest child Danielle was born in hospital assisted by a wonderful midwife. It was an easy uncomplicated delivery and I was excited to have another baby, one was just not enough. Since breastfeeding didn't go the greatest (long story) we were already trying to conceive when Danielle was just 7 months old. It didn't take long and we were expecting baby #2! It wasn't a difficult pregnancy per se but it was a tough time in our lives and I really didn't prepare well for the birth. I think I just figured since my first delivery was easy that this one would be even easier. Needless to say, it wasn't. It didn't follow the same pattern as Danielle and so I was left feeling frustrated and confused. I was trying to birth at home and my midwives kept coming and going (I wasn't really in established labor and so they were leaving me to labor until I was, but I felt very helpless and unprepared... my husband who tries his best, was really no help) When I was about 7cm dilated I was ready to give up, my midwife had been concerned about the baby's position since I was 3cm and wanted to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound to confirm that the baby was head down. While I was there I got seated on a birthing ball and took the nitrous gas. It was what I needed to relax and finally my body did what it was supposed to do without me fighting against it. The Dr came in and confirmed I was safe to deliver and then 20 mins later my first son Jack was born!!! It was a disappointing experience, I think I suffered a bit of PPD without really admitting it. Gratefully, breastfeeding came along (after a rocky start) and I think I was able to build a better attachment to Jack through breastfeeding. When Jack was just 5 months old, Danielle had just turned 2, the Lord saved me!!!! It was an amazing new birth! God has done nothing but bless my life since. Jack's first birthday got me thinking about having a baby again. But I was still nursing and still no signs of fertility. 14 months post partum we started trying to conceive. Around this time a friend asked me to attend her homebirth as her doula. It was a wonderful experience but got me questioning whether or not I would actually want the midwives there. What I had experienced and seen was that once you have this wonderful experience of childbirth, you've got your baby in your arms but soon they rush in there and start mucking about, trying to get your placenta to deliver... they have a time limit on that thing you know. It was unnerving to see my friend trying to bond with her baby while her midwife was tugging at the cord, giving her a shot, pressing on her abdomon. Looked terrible. Not long after this, I was pregnant with baby #3! I was going to do things differently this time. I prayed and read my bible, I read tons of birth stories. I read lots a few good books about childbirth. I was seeing my midwives for prenatal care and planning another homebirth but in the back of my mind I was considering not calling them when the time came. Then God blessed us with 80 acres of land and a great deal on a newer, mobile home! This meant that my midwives could not attend my homebirth (they only attend homebirths within city limits). Either I could have my baby in hospital or at a private home in town to be attended by the midwives, or I would have him at home. The Lord led me to go ahead and share my thoughts with my midwife. After being discharged from their care and then taken back in, brought along a real emotional roller coaster God gave me perfect peace that I should have our baby at home. My husband was very supportive. I prepared myself for birth so that I would need very little from him, he was willing to do what he could but I knew that he'd rather sit it out... his words were something to the effect of "whoever decided men should be there when women give birth oughta be drug out into the street and shot.... it should be like the olden days, when you go into labor I should call the 'women-folk' and then go wait in the barn." Despite how negative this all sounds he would say it very calmly and with a little half smile and I knew that although he meant what he said, he would still do anything I asked him to. As the due date approached I felt so calm about the birth... as the due date passed I was still feeling ok about it.

Friday was the first day that I felt quite unhappy about being overdue. I was just 4 days past my estimated due date. So Saturday I asked Aaron if we could get out of the house and maybe do some walking if for nothing else but to cure the cabin-fever myself and the kids were feeling after being stuck in the house for the past week due to the recent cold snap. We walked around a couple stores, trudged around in the crowds at the mall and then went to a gun show. I had forgotten our stroller AND my sling so I was carrying our 2 year old for a good chunk of the gun show. Early in the day I noticed some mild crampy like contractions. By evening, I realized that these contractions were still going on and coming every 10-15 mins, I was chatting with my mom on the phone but didn't let on that I thought the baby might be coming. I went to bed around 11pm waking a few times throughout the night (as usual) and they were still coming. At 5am, I took a bath and had some toast and wondered whether this would continue on, or stop and restart another day. At 7:30am I used the bathroom and passed a bit of my mucous plug! The contractions were starting to come every 5-10 mins at this point and felt a little stronger, so I figured it was the real thing! I made breakfast for my kids and laid out their church clothes. Aaron ate breakfast with them, dressed them and took them over to his mom’s around 8:30am. Throughout the rest of the morning my contractions were coming steadily every 5 mins and increasing in intensity and duration. I coped by breathing deeply, concentrating on making low moaning sounds and tried lots of different positions. I walked, squatted, sat on my birthing ball, took a bath (about 5 times) and got on my elbows and knees on my bed. Aaron would check with me periodically and rub my back but mostly he did the right thing and stayed out of my way. We really didn’t talk, we didn’t need to he seemed to know that I didn’t need him yet. By around noon I was feeling very tired and my prayers turned from ‘thank you God for helping me through this, please give me strength and energy” to more of a plea “please don’t let this carry on much longer, I don’t think I can do it, please, PLEASE give me renewed strength and energy! I can’t last past 3, I know I can’t!” At 2:30pm I was squatting by the end of my bed and prayed aloud “I quit Lord, I can’t, I quit, I’M DONE!” I listened to the words I was saying and thought “transition? Am I in transition?!” I thought through the next contraction ‘what is my body trying to tell me to do? Push? is it really time to push?” I felt to see if there was a head, I felt a smooth ball. I felt like I needed to use the toilet so I went back to the bathroom. Next contraction I felt the ball move towards my hand a little! Next contraction my water broke! I started REALLY pushing. Aaron came in and asked if my water broke, I nodded. He rubbed my back and asked if I could feel the head, he looked for himself and said “there it is. Wow, he’s got more hair than I do!” (we always thought it would be a boy) The hairy little ball was moving towards my hand more and more. I pushed and felt for my perineum to see if it was stretching nicely. I had my hands on either side of my baby’s head as I stood up, his face slid out, then I waited for a good contraction and pushed the shoulders out, with one last little push the rest of his body slid out into mine and Aaron’s waiting hands! He let out a little squawk as we lifted him up to my chest. I rubbed him down a bit with a receiving blanket and he let out a lusty cry. I kept chanting little welcoming remarks to my new little child! I mucked back to my bedroom, Aaron ran ahead and threw a few chux pads on the bed and I plopped down with my new little baby and confirmed that he was a boy. He didn’t want to open his mouth to nurse so he nuzzled at my breast while I started excitedly calling people to share the news! I had to stop the phone calls to deliver the placenta about 10 mins after the birth. I tied and cut the cord about 5 mins after that. I wrapped Wesley into some clean blankets and towels and Aaron held him by the wood stove while I cleaned up a bit. After that he latched on and nursed beautifully! He’s perfect!!!! Both Aaron and I agree that this was the BEST birth experience we’ve had and that all babies should be born this way! God has blessed us so much throughout this pregnancy and birth!

Little update, Wesley is now 2 1/2 months old and is doing great! He's getting so chubby and nursing wonderfully! He loves to smile and laugh, he's already tickelish and is the first of my kids to somewhat enjoy his soother. The kids seem to like him and Danielle has really become quite the little mommy to her all her dolls. She doesn't like it when Wesley cries.

Hope you enjoyed!

Nadine

I'm not a blogger :(

2010-02-12T18:58:00.003-06:00

Silly me. I thought I could blog and here it is 2 years later and all I can say is. I'm not a blogger. Since I am still on here I will post an update. We moved out of the trailer that was needing a lot of work and bought 80 acres and moved a newer nicer trailer onto it! Since we live out of town I have slow speed internet and so I don't know how much blogging I'll get done, but I'll give it a go again!

I'm now 29 years old, my husband Aaron and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. My daughter is turning 4 yrs old next month. My son Jack just turned 2 this past Oct and my son (yes a lot happened in 2 yrs!) Wesley is 2 months old!

God has been so good to our family! We've been blessed more than I could ever imagine or deserve!

My faith was strengthened immensely this fall as we'd been struggling with a hard decision since the beginning of my pregnancy.... the birthplace for our newest addition. I felt no peace about giving birth in hospital again and with a lot of prayer and tears I had my Lord speak so clearly to me through His word that there was no denying the answer. We had Wesley at home... by ourselves. It was the best birth yet! I still look at him and marvel that he slipped into this world into mine and Aaron's waiting hands!!! I was the first person to touch our sweet baby and I would have no problem doing it that way again!

I have done a lot of growing spiritually but must admit that I've hit a bit of a wall. I'm really having a hard time consistently praying and reading my bible. I love God and want so much to develop a closer relationship with my Savior but often find that the day has whizzed past and I've only taken snips of time to thank God for our food... really I have so much more to be thankful for!

Thanks to those who read this and I hope that if anyone out there is interested in some of my interests, I'd love to share! I believe in 'extended' breastfeeding (past 12 months), I think unassisted childbirth is a wonderful option and otherwise homebirth in general is a fantastic option!

Nadine

2008-10-13T21:32:00.004-05:00

I'm renovating!

2008-10-09T07:46:00.003-05:00

I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore, anyways... because I never write on it! But regardless I will update. My husband works a lot. Because of that fact the trailer that we've been living in for a year now has had no more work done to it besides the work that was done a year ago. I was quite tired at looking at the things that needed to get done, when I would ask what the plan was regarding these things I was told it was too much work to start right now. I took matters into my own hands and I ripped up this room. This room was Jack's room when we first moved in. But it had some major problems. The kids were moved into the same room and this room collected stuff. I emptied the room of all its stuff and proceeded to rip off all its wood panelling and the horrible smelly carpet (with the help of my best friend Colleen - truly couldn't have done it without her!) Now I've been stapling up new vapour barrier. The old stuff was too thin and had some holes, now even more holes because of my over-kill with the hammer while removing wood panelling! Aaron is finally on board with renovating this room and is happy that I started it and told me that if I start things he'll finish them! The room will be getting carpet, a light fixture, a heater, new drywall, paint and a door! Then I think I'll give the room to Danielle. Very exciting!

My next project will be packing up and moving to Colleen's basement so that I can tear up my living room and kitchen. That'll be quite the thing I'm sure! Very excited about it! In the spring I may just start ripping the ucky aluminum siding off my trailer. I don't mind tearing things apart if it means that things get done around here - isn't the demolition of things the fun part anyways?

Once a month update

2008-09-10T21:50:00.004-05:00

Cute pictures of my kids are always a nice addition to any blog entry! Its very easy to be patient with my kids when they look like this!

I'm obviously not a blogger. But for those few who like to read about whats going on in my world here's the dish.

My best friend AND her boyfriend recently got saved! So wonderful how God works in people's lives!

Jack is crawling very well and is starting to pull himself to standing and even gets around a little bit.

Danielle is starting to assert her independence more and more. "No" is becoming a lot more common around here (out of her mouth AND mine)

Aaron is busy working pretty much 2 jobs as he's hoping to possibly start his own business within the next year.

I've been trying to collect the fabric and notions to make a few baby slings to sell off and hopefully I'll actually find the time to do it as well!

I'm really finding that God is able to help with the day to day little things more than I could have ever thought. I get frustrated and I just stop and pray. I get a few moments and I stop to read my bible. Its so wonderful to have someone to call on who's always there and always knows the best thing to do! Its when I don't ask His advice that I find myself having rotton days. I'm not good at memorizing verses but I've decided I'm going to try a little harder to. This is my verse. Eccl 7:9 "Be not hasty in they spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools" I know some people may not think this verse applies to me but I do have a short fuse with my kids sometimes. I also really like this verse, but its REALLY long. Heb 12:1 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." My "race" as a wife/mother is set before me and I sure do feel as though I'm running somedays! Whether or not I'm running it with patience is a whole other thing!

2008-08-18T12:18:00.002-05:00

Jennifer ... how dare you make me start blogging again! LOL... just kidding. I don't know why I haven't in so long!

B. best friend? Male - Aaron of course. We've known each other almost 5 yrs, been married 3yrs (as of Aug 27th) and we've shared so much joy and sorrow. Female - Colleen, who would've thought we'd still be friends at all! We've known each other since we were born pratically but never really became close until she offered up a roommate position - wow have we had fun!

C. cake or pie? Pie! This is a very tough question because both are especially tempting. I choose cake today, birthday cake with ridiculously sweet butter cream icing and lots of pretty flowers on it!

D. day of choice? Sunday! Church and then a really fun day with Aaron home and usually getting out to visit and have fun with friends/family!

E. essential item? I think its swiftly becoming "Nave's Topical Bible" (but the bible by itself is right up there... good old instruction book for living!) Look up any topic (today its patience) and read every verse in the bible that makes reference to that topic! My pastor suggests that if you are having a struggle in your life to memorize 10 verses to help with it and you will get victory over that struggle. This bible is soooooo helpful for this!

F. favorite color? as a child it was always sunny yellow, until in grade 2 every other girl said pink so I felt left out and said pink too. But I wear a lot of blues.

G. gummy bears or worms? they both taste the same.... so... bears are much more appealing.

H. hometown? A Prairie town in Manitoba.

I. favorite indulgence? Cheesecake, something light like fruit, lemon or lime.

J. January or July? Do i have to pick one? Both are a little unappealing... January's too cold and July is far too hot. January is slow and relaxing, July is hectic and fun-filled. I pick neither!

K. kids? Two. My daughter Danielle, and my son Jack. They are 19 months apart and are oodles of fun! We are hoping to have 2 more yet.

L. life isn't complete without? God.

M. marriage date? August 27, 2005

N. number of brothers & sisters? One older brother Vern and his wife Chelsea. Aaron is the oldest of 6 siblings, Corinna, Brittany (married to Alex), Joseph, Jonathon, Andrew. I've married into a nice large family with lots of siblings and I sure do love it coming from just Vern and I!

O. oranges or apples? Apples

P. phobias? I can't do any fair rides anymore. Aaron and I were in a terrible roll-over just over 4 years ago and since then I can't go on fair rides or go mud-bogging.

Q. quotes? "Pray without ceasing" AND "when you know better, you do better"

R. reasons to smile? my kids are napping right now! AND I know I'm going to heaven when I die!

S. season of choice? Definately fall! Perfect weather, gorgeous trees, bringing in the garden harvest (although I don't have a garden this year I get to help reap the benefits of my MIL's)

T. tag seven peeps! Seven? I haven't been blogging in so long I don't think I know seven other bloggers.

U. unknown fact about me? I echo Jennifer's sentiments, it would now be known if I typed it here... but really I am an open book, I don't think there is anything I don't share with almost everyone!

V. vegetable? roasted asparagus

W. worst habits? I am an over-eater.

X. x-ray or ultrasound? I choose ultrasound! but only if I'm pregnant again! LOL, no I'm not yet.

Y. your favorite food? This is really hard. I haven't met a food yet that I don't like. Today I pick king crab, with rice pilaf, piles of steamed veggies and delicious hot garlic butter.

Z. zodiac sign? Virgo.

A little conviction?

2008-07-05T12:02:00.001-05:00

Its been a while since I've posted anything spiritual... I guess its time!

Shortly after I got saved I really felt God's hand in my life and it was really exciting and wonderful. As these couple short months have passed I've felt myself getting less and less enthused about the things of God and easily making excuses to not read my bible or spend time in prayer. Thursday evening was my very first communion (well at this church, I've taken communion at other churches) and I found myself forced to examine myself
1 Cor 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
1 Cor 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
I realized that I'm just not spending enough time with God... He's supposed to be my closest friend and I haven't "called" Him in days. The times I have talked to Him all I've done is prayed and prayed and told God everything on my mind but haven't listened for his reply (aka have not been reading my bible regularly)

My biggest excuse is time. I fill up my day with so many things but haven't made room in my schedule for God. My conclusion, I've decided that I need to wake up earlier. I usually wait for my kids to wake up before getting up. This is silly for a number of reasons... the main reason being that I need time to do devotions. I'm nervous about typing this because it will make me accountable. I've concluded that I need to start getting up at least 2 hours before Jack. That means 5am. I know it sounds crazy but both my kids sleep through the night so I really have no excuse to be so tired. I just need to put myself to bed earlier. So far its Saturday, 2 whole mornings have passed where I've had the opportunity to get up earlier and I haven't. I think I need to be accountable. I need to get up. (I really need to start by going to bed earlier to make this work)

Ok well there is my babble.

My new sling!

2008-06-28T08:37:00.009-05:00

This was unbelievably easy! Thanks to a good friend I acquired some rings yesterday evening and sat down at my sewing machine to make my sling. It took me no time at all... probably 20 minutes from start to finish - well I suppose quite a bit longer once I realized that I hadn't pre-washed my fabric and my fingers were stained bright blue! LOL... but after hang-drying my newly washed sling overnight it was ready to test out on my more than willing kiddos this morning. Yes thats right, this sling can hold up to 30lbs and since Danielle is around that weight I let her have a turn also! Anyways, I'm hoping to head to the fabric store sometime today to pick up some more fun fabric while its still 40% off!

It only took 10 days!

2008-06-26T08:22:00.005-05:00

Well it only took 10 days before I sat down to blog again... hehe. I decided to take on some sewing projects. I really wanted to sew a baby sling because they are fairly expensive to purchase and according to these instructions reasonably simply to sew. So I picked the beautiful fabric pictured to the left and set out to make a sling. If you read the instructions you'll have noticed that I also needed 2 - 3inch, 4 guage metal rings which are commonly sold at western shops. Being that this city is a fairly 'country' town there are a couple of western shops. Only one of which was open in the evening when I decided to start my project and they only had one 3inch ring left... very disappointing. I went to a couple other hardware type stores and had no luck. I came home fairly discouraged and Aaron suggested that I call Michael's the craft store. So I did. The sweet lady on the phone told me she indeed had 3inch metal rings in the leather working section of the store. I asked if they were 4 guage. She didn't know but assured me that they did indeed look very sturdy and heavy. So once again I traveled excited that I was going to complete my sewing project and once again I was thoroughly disappointed. The rings were certainly not 4 guage and certainly not that sturdy looking. :( So my beautiful piece of fabric will have to wait for the rings I ordered online.

On a brighter note. While I was at the mall I noticed a really neat idea. It was a head pillow thingy for traveling. I've seen them before but had just gotten back from a trip to the big city where my poor kiddo's heads kept getting flopped around and kinked in awkward positions while they slept. Since there was a big sale on at the fabric store I picked up some fleece and stuffing. I started making Danielle's while I talked to my mom and she thought it was a great idea so I made her one too!

I don't like fishing.

2008-06-16T22:45:00.004-05:00

Much to Aaron's dismay I do not like fishing. But it looks like Jack might. Fortunately Aaron has friends who like fishing and I am still playing tennis regularly. Unfortunately, Aaron is still trying to convince me that fishing is fun. The one time he caught a fish, I felt sorry for the fish... poor sad suffocating little fishy. This blog entry was mostly to share these very cute pictures!

Honey mustard curry chicken

2008-06-12T16:57:00.004-05:00

Jennifer asked me for my honey mustard curry chicken recipe. I made it for supper tonight (well except for the peppers, I ran out so I'm having mixed veg alongside also)

I have a couple ways of doing this.

boneless skinless chicken breasts cut up
onion
peppers (whatever you have - I like the yellow or orange)
honey
prepared mustard
curry powder
flour

brown the chicken, chop up your veggies into chunks and add to chicken. Sprinkle about a tablespoon of curry powder on (depending on how spicy you like it), pour on about a 1/4 cup of honey (or less, I've never measured... I just make it kinda saucy), squeeze on a few rounds of mustard (again I've never measured). Once its simmered for a while and the veggies are tender-crisp then I sprinkle of a teaspoon of flour just to thicken the sauce and serve over rice or noodles like a stir-fry.

OR

Bone-in skin on chicken (breasts, legs, thighs - whatever)
curry
honey
mustard

Arrange chicken in baking dish skin side down (the meat seems to soak up the sauce better this way). Mix about a tablespoon of curry, 1/4 cup of honey and a couple rounds of mustard in a bowl and pour over chicken. Bake at 400 degrees F for approx 45 mins. Serve with rice and steamed veggies. (aspargus or green beans are nice)

Tennis Anyone?

2008-06-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

Wow, I'm not good at blogging.

So I've taken up tennis. I've decided that this is the summer that I'd like to get into shape so I've discovered that I LOVE tennis (who would've thought?) and am trying to take a really good long journey at 2-3 times a week aside from my regular Monday evening tennis game. That's part of the reason why I haven't been blogging.

Spiritually things are going really well. I'm doing pretty well at reading my bible or at least my devotional book daily. I'm still really enjoying trusting God in all the little things of life. Its nice to know that when things are rough I can count on Him to be there for me.

I'm also having oodles of fun buying Usborne books lately. www.jmb.yellowducksonline.com Pictures cannot do these books justice. The man who created this line of books did so to compete with TV and video games and I really believe he's done an excellent job in doing so! I'm not keeping up with reading other people's blogs. I have a hard enough time sitting down to read the bible everyday! I'm not a reader. (but I'm hoping that with fancy fun books I can help my kids become readers... reading is important, I was a tv watcher as a kid - no tv in this house!)

I think I'm done blogging now... good night!

Cooking Meme

2008-06-10T23:01:00.003-05:00

The rules:

1) Answer all the questions honestly.

2) Tag at least three people.

When was the most recent time you were burned?

I was making this yummy rice and cheese dish the other night and forgot to turn it down to low after bringing it to a boil and burned a layer of rice solid on the bottom of one of my pots... still trying to scrub it off :(

Can you cook?
I love to cook! I love food! You'll have to ask my husband if I'm any good at it though :P

If yes, name your specialties (three max.)
chicken and biscuits
honey mustard curry chicken
shephard's pie

If yes, do you like to cook?
usually... I really love cooking when I have someone there to occupy my kids and keep me company

If no, do you want to be able to cook?

What color is your kitchen?
We live in an old mobile home that is in the midst of renovations so our kitchen is not yet renovated... it is creamy whitish yellow with a border that is meant to look like square ceramic tiles with pears, flowers and grapes.

Do you bake?
yes! I LOVE sweets

If yes, specialties (max 3)
super moist chocolate cupcakes... mmmmm
carrot cake with thick cream cheese icing
apple crisp

If yes, do you like to bake?
I used to bake a lot more often when I had more counter space... its just not nearly as enjoyable when I have to keep looking for places to set things down!

If no, do you want to bake?
I want more counter space! LOL

What color is your apron?
I do not have an apron. I suppose I should get one.

Ok I am tagging:
Aunt Debbie
Ashli
Julia

Spuratic Blogging

2008-05-25T07:22:00.001-05:00

So apparently I'm incapable of blogging regularly ehhe! I guess I sometimes wonder what to blog about. I don't know if there is anything spectacular going on. I have started doing the occasional special in church. I LOVE singing. I spend a good chunk of my day singing. My daughter calls the hymnal a bible and now brings it to me open to a random page begging me to "sing song?" Its been really wonderful to be singing praises to my God about just what a wonderful change he has done in my life! I'm never nervous either, I used to get nervous when I'd sing in my parents' church as a kid/teen but now whenever I'm sitting there waiting to go up I'm just praying that God will bless my singing and that His light can shine through me! I'm just so lucky that God gave me a voice to sing with and a new heart to sing about! I'm looking for the sheet music for a particular hymn "The Holy City" Creepy as it may sound my dad asked me a LONG time ago (back when I was a teen I'm pretty sure) to sing this song for him at his funeral. Not that I'm expecting his funeral any time soon but I think I'd like to find the music and sing it a few times so that I get it sunk in really well, I can't imagine how hard it will be to sing at my father's funeral but I'm not really going to spend any time thinking about it. Anyways, I'm going to get it rehearsed and then sing it in church and invite him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dif2lKHOIQA

The Holy City

Last night I lay asleeping
There came a dream so fair,
I stood in old Jerusalem
Beside the temple there
I heard the children singing
And ever as they sang,
Methought the voice of Angels
From Heaven in answer rang
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem!
Lift up you gates and sing,
Hosanna in the highest.
Hosanna to your King!"

And then methought my dream was chang'd
The streets no longer rang
Hush'd were the glad Hosannas
The little children sang
The sun grew dark with mystery,
The morn was cold and chill
As the shadow of a cross arose
Upon a lonely hill
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem!
Hark! How the Angels sing,
Hosanna in the highest,
Hosanna to your King!"

And once again the scene was chang'd
New earth there seem'd to be,
I saw the Holy City
Beside the tideless sea
The light of god was on its streets
The gates were open wide,
And all who would might enter
And no one was denied.
No need of moon or stars by night,
Or sun to shine by day,
It was the new Jerusalem
That would not pass away
"Jerusalem! Jerusalem
Sing for the night is o'er
Hosanna in the highest
Hosanna for evermore!"

Don't pray for patience.

2008-05-16T20:32:00.000-05:00

I'm sure I've heard the statement "don't pray for patience, or God will test yours" plenty of times in my life but I don't think I've ever needed patience like I've needed it since having children. I would definately say that we are still a much happier bunch around here since I stopped talking on the phone so much. Of course being the humans that we are, some days are more trying than others.

Every child has their own way of "throwing fits" some children do it all kick, scream, cry etc. Others just pick their favorite and stick to it. Danielle cries. Its sort of a whining, grating, angry cry. I hate the sound of it. It makes my shoulders tense up and my teeth clench. I love my daughter immeasurably more than I ever thought I could... but when she starts that crying, I feel so frustrated. Today, I tried to just keep praying. While she was crying at me, I prayed. I didn't pray for patience I just prayed that God would help me to handle her crying appropriately and I really feel that it helped. I was able to calmly explain to her how inappropriate her behavior was and that she needed to stop. Usually, that works once but then I lose my patience and often will shout at her - that doesn't help.

Then there is Jack. I stopped scheduling him again... that was WRONG! He was so predictable. 7am wake up, 9am - 10:30am nap, 1pm-3pm nap and 7pm bedtime. I got lazy. When he would get up at 7am I started bringing him to my bed to nurse him, this part isn't new, but usually after he'd finished I'd bring him out here and plop him with some toys while I made tea and read emails etc. The lazy part is that I started just dozing off and letting him doze too. The results were not concerning at first, he would just sleep till 9am and then take one afternoon nap and still go to bed around 7pm. But now this week has been HORRIBLE! He sleeps till 9:30 or 10am and then gets really tired and grump by 11 or 12 to the point where I figure "fine, go to sleep then" and then he only naps for about an hour, wakes up miserable then is tired again by about 2 or 3pm and again naps for an hour waking up miserable. By 6pm he's losing it and so I try putting him to bed only to have him wake up in 30mins freaking out! Jack NEEDS his schedule back. Its now 9pm and he's awake again... so I have to go. I will be busy putting Jack back on his schedule next week.

Day 2

2008-05-13T12:52:00.000-05:00

Well today is day 2 of no phone, no internet while the kids are awake. Its going surprisingly well! I can't believe how enjoyable it is! Danielle is super happy to have my full attention. This morning we colored pictures, made rice krispy squares and folded laundry together! I thought I would really miss the "adult" time on the phone... but its truly amazing what a lovely little girl I have when I'm actually really here for her. She listens to me better and is less whiny and is just happier overall! I think I'll need a little bit of "adult" time sometimes though so I think I'll head off to playgroup tomorrow, that way she can get some play time with other kids too.

The other thing I've been working on is drinking water. I always thought you were supposed to drink 8 cups of water a day to be healthy. WELLLLLLL, recently someone told me that you're supposed to take your weight (in lbs), divide it by 2 and thats how many ounces of water you should drink each day. I won't tell you how much water I have to drink, but lets just say its more than 8 cups. Surprisingly, I'm doing rather well at that also... and the days that I've succeeded are the days that I feel better! Well anyways, off to drink a glass of water a call a friend while the kids nap!

What a fantastic weekend!

2008-05-12T11:59:00.000-05:00

Here are some much better pictures taken by my mother in law!

What a fantastic weekend! My brother, his wife and their 3 boys got here Saturday evening about 5pm. We had sushi for supper (except Aaron and the kids, they had hot dogs). After supper we put the littlest kids to bed, called a babysitter and then took the older 3 kids to the hotel and we all went swimming - loads of fun! Sunday morning came and I was only a little bit (dripping with sarcasm) nervous about giving my testimony... I just tried not to think about it and whenever I did, I just said a little prayer that God would give me the words to speak and that I wouldn't cry to hard, or talk too long! The message was really great and got me thinking hard about my first responsibility aside from serving God. Being a keeper at home. Titus 2:4-5 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." I just got thinking about this not long ago after reading someone else's blog entry about it but yesterday's message really convicted me. God has a plan for everyone and His plan for women is to care for their home and their children. I always felt that I was already doing this and was happily patting myself on the back for being within God's will. What struck me was whether or not I'm doing an adequate job of it. Sometimes we just get so busy doing things that we forget that we are not just babysitters of our children, we are here to teach them how to love God. We get caught up with what we'll feed them, if the house is clean, the laundry done, changing diapers, wiping noses etc that we ignore them. (for me it was putting my 2 yr old in front of the TV and then when I got rid of the TV I just spent all day talking on the phone or playing on the computer) I've decided I need to be much more present as a mother and so this morning I shut the ringer off on my phone, called no one and have only just sat down at my computer because both kids are napping. Danielle and I had a lovely morning! This isn't just about getting along better with my children either. The bible shows us that the consequences of not adequately training (lots of ppl hate that word in reference to children so I'll also add 'teaching' as a suitable alternate) our children are serious. Look what the bible says about it....

1 Sam 3:13 "For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not."

Its our responsibility to restrain our children, this verse doesn't talk about the children being judged for being vile, but their FATHER for not restraining them!

Prov 29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

This makes me think of all the times that I've said to myself "how embarrassing".

Prov 29:17 "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

I want my children to be a delight unto my soul! I am going to try to memorize these verses so that whenever I think "my child is just terrible!" I can remind myself that it is MY responsibility to keep my children from making themselves vile... they won't turn out to be nice people all on their own!

Ok now on to the fun part. After the service I was called up to give my testimony. I think I basically said everything that I said in my first blog entry. It wasn't as hard as I thought and I only cried a few times. After I was done Aaron got up and asked to have his church membership reinstated. (if you want to know why his membership had been removed, read this lengthy article and it will make sense http://www.baptistpillar.com/bd0626.htm ) The parts of his testimony that really struck me was how he said that it all started with just not reading his bible everyday. Then he stopped listening in church and stopped seeking God first in his life. Quickly sin crept into his life as he started just doing what HE wanted to do. It makes me realize how we need to guard ourselves that we don't compromise what we believe. After he gave his testimony I went down and got changed into an old skirt and t-shirt to get baptized. I was last. The water was warm and I could see Aaron, holding Danielle, while standing next to his Dad, who was holding Jack. Aaron pointed me out to Danielle who looked at me and then proclaimed "Mommy!" with a big smile across her face. My brother came to the front of the church and started taking pictures. Pastor Reaves asked me a few questions to assure that I understood why I was being baptized and confirm that I knew this made me a member of the church. I voiced my understanding and agreed to becoming a church member and then he said those words "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" and down I went... And up I came! What a wonderful reminder of Jesus' death and resurrection... I know I'll never fully comprehend the depth of His love for us.

After the service I was welcomed into my new family with loving arms! My brother and his wife joined us at my in-laws for a nice big roast beef lunch and loads of fun and visiting. While we were there Aaron's sister presented their mom with the gift we'd all chipped in for - a porch swing to go on the deck that my FIL is building for her. My MIL presented me with a surprise, a plaster mold of my kids hands! She had snuck them off to do it while I was sewing over there the other day... it was a lovely surprise! All the kids had a blast jumping on the trampoline, swinging and sliding.

Here's a picture of my mother's day gift!

Thats it I think.

Getting Baptized today!

2008-05-11T07:04:00.000-05:00

Well I'm up pretty early, just about to sit down and do my devotions and thought I'd post on here. People have been asking me lately if I'm excited about today and the answer is most definately yes. Really nervous about giving my testimony though. I'm an outgoing, talkative kinda person... however, getting up in front of the entire church is going to be a little frightening. I have been praying that God will give me the words to speak so that I can tell the important things and not babble too long or cry to hard. I'm just so happy that God is working in my life and that I am continuing to grow spiritually. This is just the first step in obedience to God and I am enthusiatic to take it!!!

I'm sure it would make sense to post a picture of me so I will post these two in honour of mother's day.

A picture of the day I met my daughter.

And the day I met my son.

I'm a clothing designer!

2008-05-06T22:11:00.000-05:00

Well I was just not happy with the clothing options available for my little girl. In order to get the appropriate length of skirt I had to put her in dresses/skirts that were either too big or the same style I wore as a child. Neither option was very appealing to me and since I don't consider myself to be a very good seemstress the idea of making my own was a little overwhelming for me. SOoooo here's what I came up with....

This little brown skirt was a sundress. I cut off the ties and sewed down the flap and voila a skirt! (it already had elastic across the back so I just kept that) I also made a little slip since the brown fabric was a little see through. This was EASY!
These 2 skirts were little denim mini skirts. I came up with the idea to add one chunk of denim in the middle and then a ruffle to the bottom. I think they look great! (I didn't actually do the sewing of these, my MIL did while I sewed all the other stuff that I'm putting up, but I did come up with the idea)

These skirts started off as corduroy pants. I chopped off the legs and then added the additional fabric. I did the blue one first but decided that I didn't like it being so straight so on the purple/pink one I flared the fabric out... at first I was going to use the same fabric for the ruffle but then I messed up and had to cut a chunk off because I was too lazy to stitch rip so I decided it might be fun and different to add a different colored fabric to the bottom for the ruffle - I LOVE it!
Aside from all my skirt sewing for Danielle I also fixed up a skirt I pick up at VV to be a maternity skirt for my SIL by cutting off the top and then re-sewing it with some button hole elastic so that its adjustable. I works great! I hope she likes it!

I got tagged

2008-05-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

http://bloominlife.blogspot.com/2008/05/tag-youre-it.html

1. Write your own six word memoir

2.Post it on your blog, and include a visual illustration if you like.

3.Link to the person who tagged you in your post

4.Tag five more blogs with links

5.Remember to leave a comment on the tagged blogs inviting them to play.

I'm so sorry I haven't been on here in a while! I go at it in fits and spurts I suppose. I was really hoping that I wouldn't get tagged on this thing when I saw it on Aunt Debbie's blog!

6 word memoir? Now that just baffles me. I try not to think too hard about myself but have had such a wonderful productive day that I actually feel positive about myself today!

I'm creative, outgoing, naive, compassionate, open and passionate (that was the nice word I thought of to describe that I'm a little quick to anger sometimes..... hehe)

Is this what I'm supposed to do? Maybe I should actually spend some time reading blogs so that I'll know whats going on!

Its Monday

2008-04-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

Here is Jack and I heading to church yesterday morning!

Well the end of our missions conference was yesterday... what a great weekend! I'll post quickly about the highlights. Saturday was a ladies lunch and we went for a wonderful buffet lunch. Aaron got to keep both kids - I can't remember the last time I went out for lunch... and without kids yet! Jack had to drink his first bottle, (of breastmilk) which he did very slowly and uncertainly (Aaron said it took him an hour to chew out a mouthful at a time!) The two missionaries' wives spoke about their experiences in Nicaragua and South Africa. It was so wonderful to hear what God was doing in the lives of others all over the world! It was also very interesting to hear about these women's experiences in these foreign countries and how God was working in their lives.

During the preaching a few key thoughts really struck me. What is our purpose on earth? Mark 16:15 says it pretty clearly "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." I've heard this verse plenty of times in my life and never has it struck me as it did this weekend... I've never read it and thought of it as being written for me. But why not? Who is it written to if not to me? Isn't the bible my instruction book for life? Its the Word of God. How much clearer does it get? Which leaves me wondering... am I making it known to everyone in my life what a huge change I've experienced or am I just carrying on with my life as I was before? As Christians we should love one another and if I truly loved everyone I wouldn't just sit quietly and let people go to hell! If I don't know if people are saved I should ask... that way I can let them know how to get to heaven. Am I really putting God first in my life? Or am I just going through the motions of life on earth with no thought of eternity? Which brings me to my next point. Here on earth everyone has put a huge emphasis on 'preparing for the future' and we are taught to save for college, houses, cars, retirement and all these things that are not going to be a concern in heaven. Why aren't we putting as much thought and effort into spiritual things? What about the real future? Life here on earth is just one grain of sand in the hourglass of time, but our life in heaven is FOREVER! I want to make sure that I'm living my life telling everyone about God and seeking his will in my life. I used to say "people should have balance in their lives. it can't just be all church and God" but really, why can't it? As long as we're following his will (which according to the bible includes working hard - 2 Th 3:10 "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.") then why shouldn't the rest of our time be spent worshiping our Lord? Another thought was the idea that God's will for our lives is to let His light shine through us. We shouldn't enter into anything in life without being a light for Jesus! I believe that I am within God's will to stay home. God commands women to be "...keepers at home..." (Titus 2:5) The rest of that passage is also worthy of a good read on what God expects from us as women. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying it. God also has a laundry list of expectations that apply only to men, and a list that applies to both of us. But what I'm getting at is that even though I am at home I can still do the work of God by adhering to His expectations and telling anyone I come into contact with about the love of Jesus! The preacher was talking about men and how they shouldn't just enter a profession to make money but to use their profession as an opportunity to witness to others about God. You don't have to travel to the outermost parts of the world to be a missionary.

Well my kids are sleeping but my time is running out to fold some laundry and finish some dishes uninterrupted!

Busy week

2008-04-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

There is a missions conference this weekend at our church and I'm very interested to see what it will be like. I've never experienced anything like this before. There will be a service every evening from thurs - sunday plus our regular Sunday morning service. There will also be a men's prayer breakfast and a ladies lunch on Saturday. It seems like a lot of church and in the past I would've thought WAY too much church but I am really looking forward to spending as much time as possible hearing about what God is doing in lives all over the world!

Aside from that on Thursday evening I have to go to church a little early to meet with our Pastor prior to getting baptized. He is going to make sure I understand why I am getting baptized and what church membership means. Apparently most people end up going for 1-3 meetings prior to being baptized. I know that I need to get baptized as a step of obedience to God. I'm interested to hear a bit more about our church's doctrine.

Today I have to take Jack for his 6 month immunization. I'm not at all looking forward to the needle but I am looking forward to having him weighed and measured! That is my favorite part about seeing the public health nurse. I'll be sure to blog the numbers when I have them.

Weekend in Winnipeg

2008-04-21T08:15:00.000-05:00

We have a wonderful weekend away in Winnipeg! It was lots and lots of fun... we got to spend time with my family, my dad is recovering well from his knee replacement surgery, we went swimming and visited Vern and Chelsea's church! All in all we had a great time!

Danielle LOVES swimming. We put water wings on her and she actually let go of us and kicked herself along in the water! My little fish!

For those of you who are not yet tired of hearing about my glasses.... I got my new glasses in the mail on Friday! Here are the pictures I took of myself wearing them. I like the flower ones the best but Aaron says the shape of the blue ones really compliment the shape of my face (no really thats what he said!!! In those words exactly... I kinda stopped dead and looked at him. I never thought he knew how to say things like that. Then he told me that I had just gotten my compliment for the year hehehe... what a funny husband!)

Sleep!

2008-04-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

This happy little fellow is a well-rested baby! (and so is his mommy!) Since Jack came into our lives I have fought and fought to schedule him. I read several baby books on helping children sleep and how to schedule them and eventually gave up. I figured that he was miserable and I was miserable and so I would just let him be. Finally, we were happy albeit a little tired due to waking during the night but happy. He slowly started sleeping more and more on his own. I then tried to get him to skip feedings during the night... it worked a few times but eventually I just let him eat whenever he said he was hungry again. Recently I moved him into Danielle's room (long story involving ants) and started trying to schedule him again... finally success!!! He is taking a liking to the schedule I'm suggesting and now the last 2 nights in a row he has slept for 12 consecutive hours!!!! I guess it just comes back to the idea that all kids are different and we can't expect ours to do the same as someone else's.

Here's Danielle saying cheese. This is such a cute picture of her I thought I'd share it!

On to spiritual things. I had recently gone on a hunt in the bible for the truth about baptist "briders", the church of God and baptism. It was very confusing and like some suggested a little too much for me to handle at this point in my walk with God. (I suppose one could equate it to trying to make Jack run a marathon! LOL) In the end I concluded that I am attending this church in Brandon (happily) and so I will just have to see it their way. Besides, I will likely believe whatever Aaron tells me anyways. So, I'm thinking of asking to be baptized tonight after church. Other than that I'm reading my bible daily (even if its just the proverb for the day) and finding it very refreshing to be able to give things to God. Its nice to not have to fight through some of life's little battles on my own! Anyways, I'm amazed to have typed this much with a 6 month old on my lap but now he's done!

Yet another bump in the road to cheap glasses.

2008-04-05T09:04:00.001-05:00

Ok, seriously! This is dumb. At least the goggles4u site has better customer service. The other frames I picked "were found to be defective during production". Which is a good sign that they were already processing my order but I had to pick yet another frame! Maybe there is a downfall to getting glasses so cheap! Here's my next frame choice.... lets see if I get these or not!

Pleasing man or God?

2008-04-04T12:43:00.000-05:00

Galatians 1:10 "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."

Was reading my bible this morning and read this verse and it really spoke to me! I had been talking to a friend of mine the other day and they were talking about TV and asking me if I'd seen a particular show. I said no and then explained that I hadn't been watching much TV lately and in the same sentence I lied and said "I don't know why, just haven't been into watching TV". But I DO know why! Its because of God in my life showing me that there is nothing but filth on TV and that I can do better things with my time. I knew this and yet I made an excuse so that I wouldn't have to explain this to my friend. Then this morning God showed me this verse and so I will pray that God will help me to be a good servant and not seek to please man... or in my words "make people like me" I will make sure that my main concern is not worrying about whether ppl think I'm looney but instead will just try to concern myself with doing God's will.

Cheaper glasses yet!

2008-04-03T17:13:00.001-05:00

These glasses were only $30.99 after shipping!!! Found them on www.goggles4u.com So now I'm getting these AND the black, white and silver flowery ones! I'll have two options and can match glasses to my outfits! Woo-hoo!

Glasses choices

2008-04-02T21:32:00.000-05:00

So here are my two glasses choice as alternates to my really pretty ones (can't even show you a picture cause they're not on the website anymore and I didn't save a picture :( Anyways, I think I'm going to end up with the black and white ones cause the other ones are recently showing as sold out but the picture is still there so I'm holding out hope. I like the purple ones the best. The other ones I picked were the same shape but with a full frame and they were blue and black with pretty blue roses along the side part.

Aside from choosing glasses.... I'm having trouble with a passage in the bible. 1 Corinthians chapter 12. This seems to be a passage that speaks about the body of Christ. The problem I'm having. On one hand if I'm reading it as a general believer I would read this to mean that all saved people make up the body of Christ. Or if I read it as a passage written to a particular church I would have to interpret that God means that you must be a member of one of His churches to be a part of the body of Christ. I'm not sure how to take it. I'm going to pray about it and then try to find other passages that talk about the body of Christ.

Irritated.

2008-04-02T17:10:00.001-05:00

Trying to figure out church doctrine and some other things.... very complex. Once I get it figured out I will write about it. Hate figuring things out. Just when I think I've got something decided someone will point out a different verse and flip flop me back and forth.

Very mad at glassescrafter.com!!!!! My friend and her husband both successfully ordered and received glasses from this site. Then Aaron ordered and received glasses from this site with no problems and now I have problems!!!! grrrrr. Very frustrated. I ordered my glasses just over 3 weeks ago now (they promise 7-10 business days). They've taken their money and now when I go to my account on their website there is no record of my order!!!! It shows Aaron's order but not mine! Now I'm playing games with their stupid customer service, all the while struggling with stupid pinned together broken glasses thinking I was being smart and saving money. Never ordering glasses online again, unless of course they fix the problem and provide appropriate compensation for pain and suffering :P Extra annoying is that I looked on their site to show someone the glasses I did order and they don't have that frame anymore!!!!!! So even if they fix this I probably will have to pick a different frame and I don't like any of them half as much as I liked the other frame I picked!!!!! Stupid online ordering... I'm dumb.

Got a little courage.

2008-03-27T10:05:00.001-05:00

Baking a cake with my 2 year old Danielle! What fun!

So, I did it! Last night I ended up telling one of my friends about my recent commitment to God and it went really well! I think she really understood what I was saying and doesn't think I'm crazy and most importantly still wants to be my friend! LOL, well she might think I'm crazy but I think that has little to do with me getting saved! Maybe now I can slowly get up the nerve to tell other people! Church tonight and tomorrow I am heading over to another friends' house to babysit her kids in the morning so that should be a little tiring.

Trust

2008-03-26T20:34:00.000-05:00

Isn't this the cutest little baby in the whole world!!! Just thought I'd introduce you all to Jack. I love my kids! I am so excited to teach them and watch them grow. Trying very hard to make good decisions for them that will lead them to make good decisions in their lives! But mostly I'm just enjoying loving them up with cuddles and laughter!!!

Now onto the deep and thoughtful stuff. I have a real problem with trust. I imagine that psychiatrists would say that its because I grew up distrustful of my parents bla bla bla... but what do I do now? I need to trust God and most recently I need to be able to trust my husband to make good decisions for our family. I'm just praying that God will help me with this.

Another thought is that I've experienced this wonderful change in my life and yet I haven't really told anyone??! What's wrong with me?! The only people I've really told have been the people who I knew would be really happy for me. Any of my other friends/family members I'm just talking to as usual. Its not that I'm not happy its just that I don't want them to think that things are weird between us and stop talking to me.

Overwhelmed.... a little confused.

2008-03-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

So I decided that I wanted to make sure that I had biblical backing for every decision I make. I don't want to just babble and repeat things that other people have told me but want to be able to say that I am doing things because God led me to make these decisions. I am a little overwhelmed when I sit down with the bible. I don't know where to look to find answers and I don't really know what people mean when they say "God spoke to my heart" or statements like these. I start to question whether or not I really 'got saved'. Aaron says that he thinks God speaks to us at church. That kinda makes sense because that is the only place that I really feel close to God... but then that leads me to wonder is it God or is it people??? There is just so much to learn and I feel so anxious that someone is going to ask me questions and I won't know the answers!!!! Even after being raised in church I feel like I know nothing. I want to be able to show people in the bible how I got saved so that no one can say that it wasn't God.

I'm also wondering about modesty issues and wanting to find answers that didn't come from someone's opinions or writings about how clothing styles have changed over the years. I want to find in God's word what He teaches us about modesty. It seems to me that everyone can derive their own personal standard of modesty and claim it to be Godly or biblical. People have quoted Deut. 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God." The problem I have with people using this verse to say that women should wear skirts is that in biblical times when this verse was written men and women all wore robes... so then they are drawing a conclusion based on a particular period in society when women wore skirts. But there are plenty of problems with this analogy. My main problem with this is that every era pushed the envelope in terms of dressing immodestly and so even though I choose to wear pants, the pants I wear are considered modest by today's standards... but the skirts that some of these women wear would have been considered immodest by the standards of those living in the 1800's - so I think we should base our modesty on God's standards not ANY of the world's standards. But I can't find anything in the bible that specifies how to judge modesty.... so confused. Someone help?

Congratulations?

2008-03-21T11:54:00.000-05:00

Noun

Singular
congratulation

Plural
congratulations

congratulation (plural congratulations)

The act of congratulating.

Verb

Infinitive
to congratulate

Third person singular
congratulates

Simple past
congratulated

Past participle
congratulated

Present participle
congratulating

to congratulate (third-person singular simple present congratulates, present participle congratulating, simple past and past participle congratulated)

to express one’s sympathetic pleasure or joy to the person(s) it is felt for

Well I guess it is the right word! I went to church last night and people kept congratulating me! To me it was very strange and for once I was not comfortable with the attention coming my way. I tried hard to remember what people did at my parents' church when someone became and Christian and I couldn't think of any adults 'getting saved'. Not that they don't, I'm sure people must... but I can't think of any.

I'm starting to wonder about baptism.. admittedly its partly for the selfish reason that I want to do special numbers in church and have to be a member to do this! LOL, so I'm just praying that God will show me when and the real reasons to get baptised. Not that I don't already know the 'reasons' but I want to seek the answers for myself and read them in my bible and really know that this is what God wants before I 'jump in' hehe ... get it? Jump in? LOL I'm silly!

Last night at church our pastor preached about some of God's promises. One of these that really made me think was of his promise to provide our needs. I remember thinking how I don't really trust God to provide my needs. I'm always worrying about the future and its comforting and hard all at once to stop worrying about it and just trust God. I think trusting God is going to be one of my biggest struggles.

My Testimony

2008-03-20T09:57:00.000-05:00

So it seems that I am without a voice on the wonderful world wide web! I want a blog too! I am not a writer. I am just a mother, wife and a few other things but these are the two that stand out in my mind at this moment. I don't know if I'll keep up with this but I think I'll share a little about what's going on in my life lately.

Here is my testimony. (this could take a while and I'm sure I'll miss a lot but I'll give the summery version here today)

I grew up in a Christian home (or at least thats what I'll call it for lack of better terms) My mom, brother and I went to church every Sunday. Dad came sometimes. When I was almost 8 I went to a summer camp and was told about Jesus and how he died for our sins and that if I believed in Him, asked him to forgive my sins and come live in my heart I would go to heaven. So I did. During my childhood I always believed that I was a Christian and that I would go to heaven. When I was 9 a nasty family secret was revealed and my dad started coming to church and got baptised. In junior high and high school I struggled with acceptance and felt like I lived a double life. I had my school friends and my church friends. I tried to incorporate my two lives but inevitably I started smoking and drinking with my school friends. I kept up an impressive rouse and still got baptised when I was almost 16. Deep down I thought this step of faith would give me the strength to stand up to my school friends and leave my rebellious ways behind. I was wrong. After graduation I moved to the big city and started doing drugs. Quite a few awful things happened to me and every once in a while I would clean up my act and think I had control of things again. Eventually the drug problem became much more severe and I regularly questioned whether or not God was real and whether or not I could still be a Christian. I tried to kill myself and while in the hospital my mom came to visit. I questioned her (quite rudely and angrily) about the nasty family secret (which really was a something that happened TO me) and finally came to terms with a few things. I always blamed this for causing my drug problem. Strangely, my drug problem got much much worse and eventually in July of 2003 I called my parents and begged to come home. I can only imagine that it was by the grace of God that my parents agreed to let their 23 year old drug addicted daughter come live with them. I met Aaron in Sept of 2003 and we started "dating" in October. We were an on again, off again couple for most of the winter and then in April of 2004 we had "the accident". Aaron and I grew much closer after this. We moved in together but still struggled with commitment for a little longer before finally getting engaged in February of 2005. We were married Aug. 27, 2005 and our daughter was born March 11, 2006. Our son was born October 25, 2007. Our marriage has been a pretty happy one. I love my family! Since we've been married I've been struggling with spirituality. I suppose some might say that God has been working in my heart. About a month ago I realized that I never became a Christian that day when I was 7. I did not know what was being asked of me. I did not fully comprehend the depth of right and wrong. I only knew what my parents said were right and wrong. I also was incapable of understanding that I needed to put God in control of my life. At this time in my life my parents were in charge of my life so how could I let God take control. So suddenly I realized that all this time I was trying to do things on my own instead of praying and seeking God's will for my life. No wonder life was so hard! Once I realized that I was not "saved" I had to decide that I needed to be. This was surprisingly hard. Lots of little things kept standing in my way. Every time I felt convicted I would shut it off and turn away from God. Finally, Sunday March 16th I was listening to some powerful preaching and this pastor just kept quoting scripture and it seemed like every time I thought I might be able to regain my composure and shut my ears he would quote another verse that just kept driving into my heart! I couldn't control my tears and during the invitation I gripped Aaron's hand and begged him to not make me do this alone. He asked me what I needed from him and I just cried so he asked me if I wanted to go up and pray and I nodded yes. We went up to that alter and I just fell down on my face and sobbed. I was gripping Aaron's hand tightly as he prayed and asked for God's guidance in our lives and when he finished praying I sobbed out the words "Lord I need you to save me" and then was crying so hard that Aaron suggested we go and talk with the Pastor. So we did and during that meeting I finished my prayer and told God how I needed Him to be in control of my life because I just couldn't do it and was so tired of trying so hard. I let go and felt such freedom from my worry. Its still a day to day struggle just to let go but I don't feel so worried and hopeless anymore. I'm starting to read my bible more and praying often. Aaron has taken charge as the leader of our home and it feels wonderful to follow his lead. Things are definately changing. Little by little.